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Thread: The way forward

  1. #1
    seeking direction

    The way forward


    I hope that someone can advise me. I am in a relationship and ready to get married. After approaching my parents, they said no as they do not know him or his family. He is a good boy with very good character and piety and I know this from the conversations that we have had over the last few months. Both of our intentions are completely clear and as a result we have not been dating yet i cant feel closer to anyone else. In him i see myself being a better person and performing better actions that near me to Allah. I am very confused on what the way forward is. Has anyone been in similar situation and proved your parents wrong or has it failed?

  2. #2


    A choice of a marriage partner is one of the most crucial decisions in life. Too many marriages today are ending in divorce because young (and not so young) people are making decisions for the wrong reasons. Sometimes, they discover only after marriage that their spouse has a bad or destructive habit (e.g. uncontrollable anger or drug abuse). You do not want to find yourself in that situation. There are a range of issues you should consider before deciding whether this person is the right person: piety and adherence to Islamic principles (beyond just going regularly to the mosque); his ability to support you during your marriage; his demeanour and habits (including respect for women); his willingness to provide you with emotional support and comfort; his ambitions in life (children and family, work, acquiring property, deen & haj, etc.); his relationship with his family, especially his siblings; his standing in the community & amongst his colleagues (not in terms of wealth and materialism, but more in terms of character and personality). It is important to obtain information on all these issues from different sources, not just from the person you want to marry. All of us would like to hide our faults and are less honest about these. All of us want to charm the other person, to come across as like-able. Your family is right in saying that they need to know more about him. Ask them to help you make the necessary inquiries. Is there perhaps an uncle or aunt who may be able to assist in finding out more about this prospective marriage partner. Perhaps, when the time is right, you may arrange with your families permission, for them to meet him. Then they will be able to assess first-hand the type of person he is. Have trust in Allah, and you will find a way forward in this dilemma.

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