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Thread: what should i do?

  1. #1

    what should i do?

    Slmz all.. I'm having major issues with my in laws.. They keep on telling people I'm ungrateful to them for the things they do, and when I hear about it they and ask them then they accuse me of fighting with them and they treat me like I'm a nothing. They ignore me and dontd don't bother with me then. My mil too, despite knowing how many problems my husband and I are facing, she never not once speaks to me and asks if we ok or if I'm ok. But she speaks to her son. How must I feel? Obviously it makes me feel that they don't care about me coz they never show any love care and concern towards me. Its only my husband and child they interested in. How am I supposed to feel. What should I do? How can I get the love and respect I deserve. Whatever I do, always goes unappreciated. Its like ima nobody and a nothing to them. They only greet me and that's that. Unless they have to speak with me, they don't talk to me at all. Please help. I feel miserable. Iv talked to them about this, but there has never been any change, they keep treating me the same way.

  2. #2
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    ws, whatever you do in life, if you worry about what others think you will always be unhappy. As muslim our aim is only to please Allah. live your life pleasing Allah only. At the end of the day by trying to change others only we suffer. So accept your in laws to be who they are. But what you can do is change your own attitude towards them. Maybe as they say shower them with kindness, love and affection for Allah's sake, make that your intention. It will be ibadat and you will get reward for an act of worship.
    Look deeply inside yourself and see what are things you change within yourself to make this situation happier. Life is too short to sit there miserable. Make the change..

  3. #3

    reply to onloved daughter in law

    Slms. Its obvious that you are very hurt and saddened by this. We all want the love of our parents and sometimes in laws too. Whilst we don't always get it, we have to realise that each family is different. In their communication with each other, the methods of addressing and resolving conflict, even in the way in which they conflict in itself.
    If you have tried to resolve things with them and they are not responsive, maybe take a step back. Don't try so hard to get them to love you and accept you, rather you love and accept them. Once we accept our inlaws with all their flaws n eccentrities , we start seeing things differently, and that's how change happens.

  4. #4

    stay strong and independent

    Slmz I have similar problems and I have learnt to keep away. That is best. One day they will realise the errors of their ways and ask forgiveness. Till then stop hurting urself. Live ur life independently and wait for them to love you. If they don't do anything on their side, then it means they don't want anything to do with u. I'm sorry its harsh but its true. If they can't love you, then rather stay away completely. Its best for ur own happiness and I have realised this after ten years. Iv tried and tried and in the end all I got was heartache. Please save urself the agony walk away. Let them love you and respect you and appreciate you. Let them come to u and if they can't do that they don't deserve us dils who want to care for them. Be strong

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