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Thread: Marriage problems

  1. #1

    Marriage problems

    I met my husband through arranged marriage last year. We had asked each other about previous relationships prior and he assured me he had never been in a relationship before.
    Within a month just out of coincidence he asked me to call someone using his phone. After making the call I randomly went through his messagea and saw intimate messages from a girl who turned out to be his ex girlfriend. After this I found numerous forms of evidence which were associated with this girl and I asked him to delete everything. He hadn't entirely deleted everything and to my surprise I found more pictures etc a few months before our wedding.
    I decided to email her directly. I was with my husband when she called him telling him I'd emailed her. My husband simply replied sort it out with her meaning me.
    I did go ahead with the marriage but to this date I have still no trust in my husband after all the lies.
    She lives round the corner from us and I can't help but recall what had happened and the fact my husband was in a very deep relationship with her for over 2 years. I did ask him why he didnt marru her instead but he doesn't give me a proper answer. Everytime we touch that topic he kind of gets all sensitive and upset.
    Please can you give me advice on how to deal with this and make my marriage work. I can't seem to forgive my husband and trust him again.
    Is there anything I can pray?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Gauteng/ South Africa

    When a boy and girl comes together through the bond of marriage that is when a relationship with the opposite gender ought to begin for the first time. All relationships before marriage are Haraam and impermissible. If anyone was involved in a relationship then they should make Taubah. When a person makes Taubah and cuts ties with the past then it is wiped out. We are then instructed never to recollect or remember it. It is as thou it never existed. When a husband and wife come together, they should never delve in the past and look to build a relationship from the point they have come together.

    Bearing the above in mind, it is a rather difficult situation that you find yourself in. We suggest that you take your husband to the local Imaam of the area/The Jamiat and discuss the matter. He should give an undertaking that he will not have any contact with this lady and make Taubah for his past. You should then try not to wander too much about the past as this will just create more doubt and suspicion.

    We make Du’a that Allah grant you ease and comfort and alleviate your difficulty.


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