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Thread: Abusers get more love

  1. #1

    Abusers get more love

    I would want to know why do women who are in abusives relationships show more affection to their man than women who are in a caring realationship where the man treat the woman like a queen, these women show no affection towards these kind caring men. Why is that so? Does a man have to be abusive in order to get love?

  2. #2
    Slms.. Please do not mistaken what an abused woman expresses towards her abuser as love..its the furthest thing from love. Its pure, raw fear. These abusive men force the women to walk on egg shells constantly, if they are not obliging, affectionate, "happy" all the time then it will set off another attack in an instant. Also, the way abuse works is in a cycle, where the man will lash out n hit/verbal abuse etc and then grovel for forgiveness later, making the woman feel that its ok, he's not really a monster. But while he's hitting her he's telling her about all the things she did to deserve this. So now she feels like "if I just don't do X Y Z that made him angry, he won't hit me anymore" so she sacrifices, changes her personality, her routine, her life to stop the beatings but they will never end!!

    And here u come along and instead of noticing the primal fear and edginess of a woman being abused, all u notice is that she's more affectionate towards her abuser! Hope this has opened ur eyes.

    Conversely, a couple in a happy non abusive marriage, tend to fall into the trap of taking each other 4 granted. After many years of marriage they sorta work like a well oiled machine and 4gt to express their thanks and love in the ways they used to. The way to combat this is to voice your concerns, tell your partner that u miss the affection and the little gestures 4rm b4 and inshaAllah he/she will start being affectionate again.

  3. #3
    Jazakallah..well sed!!dat is soo tru

  4. #4
    i hav a diff angle..i thnk narcisitic personalities seek out submissiv hosts in both male&females..domineerin personalities get empowerd by stepin on passiv personalities..insecurity is bad 2 liv wid whether u male or female

  5. #5

    Angry abusive relationship

    speaking from an EMOTIONAL abusive relationship.... What happens is that (in this case husband) blames you all the time, he convinces the wife that she has issues with relationships or childhood issues, tells you all the time you are ungrateful or jealous etc... in short he always tells you you are the problem.
    on one hand is so affectionate loving and out the blue he fights with you be it emotionally, verbally or physically.
    in may case he blames me for all his wrong and then says that it me with issues and he is trying everything to help me!
    its a cycle and one in which you start questioning yourself and start believing you are a problem!

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