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Thread: what went wrong?

  1. #1

    what went wrong?

    We're a close family. We have always done everything together and we always look out for each other. But all that's changed. My sister got married a few years ago to her 'sweetheart'. Since she got married, infact from before she got married, we noticed some personality changes. Initially we dismissed this as pre wedding jitters. But its been a few years now and from having a wonderful close relationship with my sister, its now a superficial one. She seems so wrapped up in her new life. When I try and initiate activities with her, she often declines and her excuse is always 'I'm married now, things are different'. I don't buy this nonsense. She is married to a successful man and they seem very much in love. I do however worry if the relationship doesn't have a toxic element. My sister was an attractive and ambitious woman prior to getting married. She is now overweight and is nothing like her former self I'm so concerned that she has serious health issues, or there is something else that is contributing to these changes. Talking doesn't help, she gets aggressive and thinks I have an agenda against her. I feel like I've lost my best friend, and I feel like if I don't do something soon, her health is going to get worst. Her husband seems to be enabling her weight gain and talking to him doesn't help either. I'm so worried. Please advise.

  2. #2

    maybe u should give your sister the benefit of the doubt....
    marriage is a huge adjustment, and she is prob trying to juggle her time, chores etc to fit everyone in.

    maybe the best way is to open the doors of communication again between the two of you, without pressing issues of her weight gain and husband, as this will distance u further from her. just spend time with her without bringing up issues that will cause tension or a rift.
    if there is anything worrying her, after some time,she will tell u, once she sees she is able to trust u without u judging her.

    there is prob just a misunderstanding, esp her being younger than u, she prob does not know how to communicate with u on sensitive issues such as her hubby whom she loves, so to avoid an arguement with u, she keeps a distance.

    people are made differently and see things from diff view points. its best to just let her know u r still her sister and best friend and just want what is best for her, ul always be there for her and u just want to spend time with her as u miss her. IA she will come around.
    everyone needs their sister/family especially in times of distress.

  3. #3
    I feel your pain . I experienced the exact same thing. By the way are you the older sister ? My younger sister and I have not spoken for a decade. She refuses to have anything to do with me . We were extremely close when we were unmarried. Marriage has completely changed her personality. The hurt never goes away. You just have to move on and remember the good times. I have a close friend whose younger sister behaves in the same strange fashion. She did not even invite her older sister to her wedding! It is all very strange behaviour but I have boticed that it is always the younger sister hating the older sister and it has something to do with sibling rivalry .

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