View Full Version : to marry or not to marry

07-03-2013, 10:25 PM
I am going to get married soon. i have not known my fiancee for a very long time. recently he told me that before we got married we should tell everything about each other, and he told me that he had slept with many women(so many that he doesnt even know the number). he said he had changed his bad habits and he would not do this in the future. Although he has many other good qualites i do not know what to do. i do not know how this will affect our married life.

14-03-2013, 12:03 PM
oops apologies i assumed you muslim but there is much wisdom regarding this matter from an islamic point of view.. I am not sure there is an ayah in the quran or hadith about a chaste woman should marry a chaste man etc.. read your istikharah and ask Allah to guide you. Allah knows best. If the man has repented and is changing his ways.. difficult one this one. Allah make it easy for you to make the right choice.. also if this man has slept with so many woman please ask him to go for an aids test..

here is an interesting article - http://www.zawaj.com/marriage-after-committing-zinaa/

when one marries one of the things you need to look at and most importantly is piety.. from a personal choice, i won't marry someone if they told me this especially regarding the number of ladies..

14-03-2013, 12:19 PM
There are a couple of things you need to consider:

1. He needs to go for HIV (and other STD) tests. If he refuses, don't marry him.
2. Can you live with it? A lot of women I know cannot live with the knowledge that their husbands had slept with other women. They feel inadequate and inexperienced and wonder if he has had better. This leads to a whole lot of problems and issues and can really destroy a marriage.

If these things do not bother you, he goes for the tests and he is a good person then there is no need to hesitate.