View Full Version : Is this normal?

29-09-2012, 01:03 PM
Slms jus want to know if this is normal, I'm newly wedded and in my first month of marriage I use to have sex almost everyday, now my wife everytime we wana have sex she always has an excuse that she's tired! Please can sum1 tell me if therz sumthing wrong with me? I feel sad and depressed that my wife makes this excuse and I feel that she probably either duzn like the sex that we have or she's not intersted???

30-09-2012, 03:41 PM
Sometimes the girl doesn't enjoy it as much...you need to talk to her, but before that evaluate what the intimate moments where like, did you make an effort to please her? Or was it only about your pleasure? Then talk to her, tell her that u can't help but miss dat part of urls relationship,tell her tht u feel like she's avoiding it, ask her if she enjoys it etc...otherwise, set a romantic scene in the bedrooom, blindfold her and bring her in...and while she's blind folded do every sexy thing u can to please her and arouse her, seduce her...start with kissing and take it frm there...

30-09-2012, 03:50 PM
hav u spoken 2 ur wife bout this?there could b many thng that is influencing her libido,is she using contraceptives, she could be premenstrual(about 2 get her period),so u hav2 consider a lot of thngs,women arent like men,nd ur acting like a baby,suck it up nd b a real man,SPEAK 2 UR WIFE, marraige isnt just this ,HAV u considrd the fact that she might nevd had any pleasure while u were at IT,U WONT FIND THE ANSWER HERE!

30-09-2012, 04:24 PM
Quite normal bro !

30-09-2012, 04:57 PM
Perhaps adapt ur approach to getting her 2 get in 2a mood,4eg if she's tired offer her a massage,adapt ur bedroom style,get creative and romantic.u kan browse the web for romantic ideas 2 make ur wyf enjoy personal tym with u,ud know wat she likes by now and u kan build on it.things cud b boring her out now...

30-09-2012, 05:01 PM
She might be pregnant, this can happen in the 1st 3 months of pregnancy,

Ml.Habib Bobat
30-09-2012, 05:39 PM
و عليكم السلام و رحمة الله

Nikah/Marriage is a unique bond trough which Allah grants amazing love between the spouses, one should enter into Nikah with the correct intention and the correct mind frame.

Every couple wishes that if only married life could be like the 1st month of marriage.

Couples are quite intermit in the early stages of their Married life, however one needs to understand that
As humans we go trough different phrases in life, at times we are at our peak and at times we are not. Many things could contribute to this, for instance

1. Stress
2. Pressure
3. A long and tiring day at work
4. Feeling home sick
5. Social issues
6. Financial constraints
7. In laws
8. Moods
9. Lonely
10. Insecure and not comfortable with one's spouse as yet

So not every day will be the same, in the early stages couples will have lots of quality time to themselves due to be free from both financial and social responsibilities, hence we spend lots of time with each other and we are quite intermit at that time, but as time progress we hit back into reality and its back to our hectic fast lives, trying to make time here and there for our spouses, and in many cases because both partners are working, they come back home extremely exhausted and relations is just the last thing on their list. So it becomes more of an occasional thing than a regular thing. Also many of the above mention factors also play an integral part to such a case. In essence we need to develop such a relation where there are no communication barriers between the spouses, couples should sit down together and discuss what exactly is steering the relationship in this current direction, and once the problem has been ironed out, then look for amicable solutions.
Together with that draw the divine blessings of Allah in one's marriage by implementing the Sunnan of Nabi (S.A.W) and constantly making dua for each other.

And Allah knows best

Ml.Habib Bobat

01-10-2012, 12:23 AM
Please try to understand that its hard for women all the time bcos it means ghusl and ladies hair takes forever to dry! Approach her early in the morning and prepare her mentally about your intention so that she can manage her time and prepare herself! And its true that birth control really reduces libido a lot! And it makes women dry which then causes pain during the time. Oh and please give ur wife a break! Everyday is harsh. Try to aim for 3 times a week and discuss this with her

01-10-2012, 10:17 AM
LOL....Welcome to marriage.
This is entirely normal and will most probably get worse.Most marriages end up being "ABC" sex i.e anniversary,birthday and christmas

01-10-2012, 10:53 AM
Jazaakallah to ALL who have replied to this message, I have jus found out how communication is the number one root to success in a marriage. Thanx to every1 who has shared with me their thoughts. It has helped me so much.