View Full Version : need serious help

12-09-2012, 11:54 PM
Slmz respected Ml/ mufti. Ĩ whould like to know the islamic ruling of fulfilling one anothers congugal rights.Ĩ do however know dat if a women does not fulfill her husbands rights she will b cursed trought da night.however wat Ĩ my rights as my husband does not fulfill my rights . When Ĩ go to him he's always not in da mood or to tired. Is dis right in islam dat i can only have my rights fulfilled when he have his desire.I'm suffering αη∂ trying my utmost not 2 commit any sin. Ples can ų give the sharia ruling regardig dis.is der any punishment on men like ther is for women. May almighty reward ų 4 ur assitance.

Mufti Yusuf Moosagie
21-09-2012, 10:53 AM
Wa Alaikum salaam

In the bond of marriage Allah has given rights to both the husband and the wife. It is the duty of each of the spouses to fulfil those rights. Part of the rights of a wife is that her conjugal needs be fulfilled.

With regards to frequency of intercourse between husband and wife the Ulama have different views:
1- Ibn Hazam Rahimullah says that it is Wajib on the husband to be sexually intimate with his wife at least once during every Tuhoor ( the days of cleanliness between two periods.
2- Imam Ahmed Rahimullah says that at least once every four months.
3- Some Ulama say once every week.
4- Imam Ghazali Rahimullah says that a husband must satisfy his wife every four nights.
These are the different time frames suggested by some of the Ulama. It is very difficult to stipulate a definite time frame as people defer from person to person, every person’s needs are different and every person’s circumstances may be different.

If your husband continues to neglect fulfilling your conjugal rights without any valid excuse he will be guilt of sin. There is no specific punishment mentioned for this, however, he is indeed violating the rights of his wife which is punishable. You mention that he is always tired and not in the mood, this is not a valid excuse. We advise that you do what is in your capacity .i.e. Dressing up, beautifying yourself, applying perfume etc. and in this way try to attract your husband to yourself.

If this fails then we suggest you select a suitable when he is in a relaxed mood. Bring up the issue with him. Speak about your needs,how you feel, that you are also human and have desirous. You may also mention the follow hadeeth to him: Abu Dhar Radiyallahu Anhu narrates that Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasalaam said; ‘ To utter Tasbeeh (Subhanallah) is charity, each Takbeer (Allahu Akbar) is charity, each Tahmeed (Alhamdulillah) is charity, each Tahleel (Laa ilaa haa illallah) is charity, to enjoin righteousness is charity, to restrain evil is charity and to be sexually intimate with one’s wife is also charity. (Mishkaat)

You may further encourage him by informing him that, intimacy with one’s spouse in not only a means to procreation and gratifying one’s desirous but it is also an act of Ibadaah. That is why Nabi Sallahu Alaihi Wasallam made a special effort to marry. He loved the institution of marriage. Nabi Sallahu Alaihi Wasallam stated: ‘I love two matters from this world: the first is fragrance and the second is women.’ (Imam Ahmed bin Hambal in his Musnad)

We make Du’a that Allah alleviates your problem.

And Allah knows best.