View Full Version : My wife can't cook

30-11-2017, 05:10 PM
aNANImous Question
"I'm married for 5 months. My wife is great except in the kitchen she really makes no effort at all. She works too so I really don't make a big thing out of it but i don't know how much more fish fingers, macaroni or toasted cheese I can eat. I cook stuff also since I'm so sick of what she makes.. but I'm paying for all the household expenses so before everyone hassles me that it's not her Islamic duty to cook surely there should be some balance? We currently eat out 2X during the week and in the weekend it's breakfast lunch and supper. Im also the only one washing dishes... We have a helper who comes in twice a week and she wants to pile up dishes for her which I find disgusting. Help a guy out. I've hinted at these things but she doesn't really seem to care much. "


Not Married but....
12-01-2018, 12:09 PM
Dear Poster,

I admire how humble you are in avoiding making it seem as if you are complaining about your wife. Being a full on feminist I support the statement that it is not a women's duty to cook and clean. I am not of Islam decent but I am an indian woman and believe that every INDIAN woman has a cultural and ethnic responsibility to cook in her home, even if she is sharing the responsibility. My opinion may not fully be agreed with but I will share it in any case. I am so proud to be a indian woman and cannot wait to be a wife and mum. My career and studies has been my focus for most of my adult life but now feel the urge to settle down and perform certain duties...one of them cooking for my future husband :). I do believe that if you do not rid your marriage of such behavior it is sure to become habit and the cause to many other larger problems...

The first question is Does she know how to cook? If not perhaps teach her, you stated that you cook? This could be a great relationship building exercise and since you are both newly weds...this will help you learn about each others preferred tastes. If she does know how to cook.... perhaps (if you get home before her) cut up all the ingredients and have them ready for when she gets home from work so that she just has to cook. If it is vice versa, suggest she do so and you can take turns cooking?

It is also important to review the financial impact this is having on your marriage i.e. buying take outs. You could both be in a financial position that allows you to spend on take aways but consider what else, of better value, the money could have been spent on or invested into. Explain this to her.

As much as it is every women's secret desire to eat the greasiest easiest take aways as frequently as possible....we all very consciously know the effects this has on our body. Perhaps make her understand that this is not only a costly bad habit but an unhealthy one too. I am certain if you mention the physical effects it may have or will start having on her body.....she would be sure to JUMP!

Lastly, WRT the dirty dishes situation...that raises a totally different concern. Yes it is no woman's duty to cook and clean BUT it is a human beings duty to themselves to remain clean and hygienic both for themselves and their environment. A bit of warm water and soap harms nobody. If you and her wash and dry whilst chatting away at the sink surely you wouldn't even have noticed the chore at hand.

*Make everything an opportunity to bond and spend quality time with each other,

My (unmarried) opinion....