Year End Parties

[Guest]

I have a very urgent and important question to ask.

I work as a marketing co-ordinator – I do not work by choice but for a livelihood.

My job description includes planning events and year end parties. Unfortunately I have to be there on the nights that these parties take place. What I have managed to do is ensure that everything is running smoothly at the function and as soon as my job is done, I leave the premises as I consider the fact that I am a muslim woman first, married with children. These parties always tend to turn wild and I ensure that I am not there when that happens.

A major problem I face is that my husband also has yearend parties that he would like to attend. He has been attending them every year not that I am happy with that but I haven’t refrained him.

However this year, his party is in a club and I strongly feel that it is not right and appropriate for a muslim married man to be at such gatherings.

He understands that but yet feels that I am trapping him and “controlling” his life. So he is not very happy with me.

Secondly, he has an upcoming team building event that is taking place at Warmbaths. Again, I feel that it is wrong for him to attend this – I think the reasons are obvious.

I don’t think any woman would like to see her husband in the company of half naked women with alcohol. There isn’t any muslim colleagues that he knows there at this function and I fear that influences and temptations are there. Shaitaan is always waiting in the wing to come between a husband and wife.

My husband has sworn me and insulted me and threatened to divorce me as “I am controlling his life, making him feel trapped” because I have said that he can’t go and asked him how would he feel if I went to a place like this and mix with my male colleagues... He went as far as saying that I am not his type of woman and he is not my type of man.. All this because I am concerned about my husband, his deen and my marriage...

Maulana / Mufti / AAlim you advise me on this and what steps to take further? Am I being paranoid or do I have a right as his wife to put my foot down on this one?

JazakhAllah

[Ml.Habib Bobat]

There is no obedience in disobedience!

In other words to comply with management and disobey Allah is extremely unwise. To uphold your Islam will not bring you disgrace. You Rather be classified as "anti-social" than ever incur the wrath of Allah. Allah will NEVER disappoint you so long as you are true and faithful.

These are some of the issues you should raise with him; however this should not be done in a harsh manner and in harsh tone. Remember by been abrupt a person will not be able to make his/her point and the purpose will be defeated. So bring up the following issues.

Alcohol: We know the environment of the club and these Parties where they actually throw sham pane & liquor on each other and this is totally un-Islamic & unethical. So even if a person who does not drink, gets caught in this situation.

Music & Dancing: explain to him the following Hadith of the Prophet

"Music makes hypocrisy grow in the heart as water cause plants to grow". (Bayhaqi)

"Verily Allah has forbidden alcohol, gambling, drum and guitar, and every intoxicant is haram" (Musnad Ahmad & Sunan Abu Dawud).

Adultry: this is quite common in a club environment and in the parties. We find that married people who even have kids, ends up flirting with other company members and many a time it leads to having external relationships outside the marriage.

Islam totally forbids adultery and also those things that lead to it. Allah Most High says:"And do not come near to adultery, for it is a shameful deed and an evil, opening the road (to other evils)" (al-Isra, 32).

The Prophet said: "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Hadith Tirmidhi)

Food: Haraam food is served at such gatherings

The Prophet has said: that part of the body which is nourished through Haraam and forbidden recourses is destined for the fire of Hell.

Salah: no priority is given to Salah in such cases; in fact in many instances Salah is totally forsaken.

Islam is a rich religion filled with morals, respect, dignity and ethos, and by been part of such gathering, strips a man of his morality.

May Allah Assist you and you in your plight Aameen.

And Allah Knows Best

ML.Habib Bobat