I always thought the 1st yr of marriage is the best,romantic,spending time together etc but for me it was the worst year felt like running away at times but alhamdulillah it gets better as the years go by just make sabr n make lots of duaa...
Wslm
May Allah assist you in this condition
You mention "I want out of this marriage because I can't handle this trauma any longer." Sister you need to think carefully about this because if you leave, remember that you will have to provide for yourself, and although this may not be a problem since many women today have some education and means of work, however think of your situation several years down the line, will you have regretted your decision? Will you be alone? And most of all, are you going to sacrifice your husband (that may very well have done good for you in many other ways) for your sister in law? Are you going to let her dominate your mind?
As for your husband, perhaps you should attempt to keep his attention and enlighten him (and yourself) by spending time together reading Islamic books. The key note here is do not lash out at all his mistakes (i.e. read a specific page in an Islamic book that talks about the rights of the wife and privacy of marital details) on the first day. This will take time.
I suggest a good place to start is http://www.islameasy.org/Marriage_Advice.php
In the meantime, I urge you to change your mindset as follows:
> If anyone talks about you behind your back, their good deeds come to you. (If they have no good deeds, your SINS go to THEM)
> Today someone can be on a pedestal, but Allah knows of their actions, and can disgrace them instantly. This doesn't mean you should plot the downfall of your sister in law, but rather you should not worry about her perceived status, that can change at any point in time.
> Be the better Bhabi... Eid is coming up, give them gifts to show that you are a loving, caring and affectionate person. Islam teaches us (in the Quran): "The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one, which is better, then lo! He, between whom and you there was enmity [will become] as though he were a bosom friend.” And: “The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they respond with [words of] peace.”"
This is not an overnight remedy, it requires time, patience and sacrifice. Allah has placed this test before you for reasons He knows best. Maybe He is strengthening your willpower prior to you starting a family.
I hope you find this fruitful.
Salaam
I always thought the 1st yr of marriage is the best,romantic,spending time together etc but for me it was the worst year felt like running away at times but alhamdulillah it gets better as the years go by just make sabr n make lots of duaa...
Wslm
May Allah assist you in this condition
You mention "I want out of this marriage because I can't handle this trauma any longer." Sister you need to think carefully about this because if you leave, remember that you will have to provide for yourself, and although this may not be a problem since many women today have some education and means of work, however think of your situation several years down the line, will you have regretted your decision? Will you be alone? And most of all, are you going to sacrifice your husband (that may very well have done good for you in many other ways) for your sister in law? Are you going to let her dominate your mind?
As for your husband, perhaps you should attempt to keep his attention and enlighten him (and yourself) by spending time together reading Islamic books. The key note here is do not lash out at all his mistakes (i.e. read a specific page in an Islamic book that talks about the rights of the wife and privacy of marital details) on the first day. This will take time.
I suggest a good place to start is http://www.islameasy.org/Marriage_Advice.php
In the meantime, I urge you to change your mindset as follows:
> If anyone talks about you behind your back, their good deeds come to you. (If they have no good deeds, your SINS go to THEM)
> Today someone can be on a pedestal, but Allah knows of their actions, and can disgrace them instantly. This doesn't mean you should plot the downfall of your sister in law, but rather you should not worry about her perceived status, that can change at any point in time.
> Be the better Bhabi... Eid is coming up, give them gifts to show that you are a loving, caring and affectionate person. Islam teaches us (in the Quran): "The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one, which is better, then lo! He, between whom and you there was enmity [will become] as though he were a bosom friend.” And: “The servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they respond with [words of] peace.”"
This is not an overnight remedy, it requires time, patience and sacrifice. Allah has placed this test before you for reasons He knows best. Maybe He is strengthening your willpower prior to you starting a family.
I hope you find this fruitful.
Salaam