Cannot trust my husband

[Miserable]

I have been married for 4 years with 1 daughter, my husband is really great, but for some reason, I always feel like he's texting, or seeing someone else. He goes straight to work and comes straight home and gives me no reason to believe that he's cheating. I feel miserable and depressed most of the time and I am always going through his phone. I hate feeling like this. I have spoken to him about this, but, understandably, he does not understand.
A few years before I got married, I was looking at my father's phone for something and found messages to another lady, my parents were always very happy and my mother, very trusting, so this might be the reason I feel like this. Noone else knows about this and I haven't told anyone either. It devastated me. Because of this, I find it very hard trusting men.


1) Is it haraam to go through my husband's phone without him knowing?
2) I have made lots of dua, is there anything else that I can read to help me trust him? Anything I can do? I am desperate.

[Joburger]

It seems that your lack of trust of your husband has to do with your discovery that your father may have been cheating on your mother. If you continue to distrust your husband with no reason, it could destroy your marriage. He is likely to get fed up with you constantly checking up on him & it may drive him away from you. It is certainly wrong, morally and Islamically, to check your husband's messages - everyone's correspondence should remain private.

I would suggest that you seek counselling and allow yourself to remove the distrust of your husband. From what you say, he has done everything to earn your trust but you are not allowing yourself to trust him.

[Unregistered]

I no what u going tru have been married for 9 yrs and getting a divorce, found out all my doubts about infeditilies were true and I just needed to trust a womens instinct, than push it aside could of saved myself a lot of heart ache

[Unregistered]

U should try to speak to ur hubby. Trust me its not a nice feeling wen u are constantly checked on. My hub goes thru my fone religiously. I'm not allowed to delete chats with my family without him reading it. Give him the benefit of the doubt he hasn't done anything to make u doubt him really. إن شاء الله he is being faithful..