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Thread: road off uncertainty

  1. #1

    road off uncertainty

    So its been a tough road thus far for me reason being the following

    Year 2010- Ex bf and I broke up
    Year 2011- Ex bf decided to approach my parents for marriage,we accept but his sil disapproves
    Year2011-present - no communication from ex...

    My ex bf and I are both single, after his sil disapproved off our marriage he some how doesn't have the courage to break the ice n tell them he still wants to b with me..his bro n sil took away all his fones ect so he doesn't contact me ever.they take him around to see girls he refuses bcoz apparently he still got me in his heart.we known each other for 5yrs.I'm finding it really difficult to move on everyday I pin on to the little hope in me that things will work out and the fact that I heard he still got me in his heart makes me guilty n stops me from moving on.I still love him and I know I won't b happy with any1 else.

    I'm so confused bcoz ppl smaller then me are getting married but I'm not its making me depressed..I can't let go off him either, and his sil just doesn't approve off me and hates me without even once trying to hear my side of the situation. I heard my ex has gone into depression bcoz he can't handle his sil n bro controlling his life n can't have me..

    Hw do I contact him?
    How do I get the family to approve of us?
    How do I move on?

    Confused please help

  2. #2
    Please please stop worrying abt him and learn better grammar/spelling. You seem very young. Why are you in a hurry? When you start dating, you accept that you might get hurt. There is no quick fix. You just need to move on. Find something to do with your life, get an education, find a hobby, do charity work. All these things are rewarding and will enable you to move on better. You cannot control other people. You cannot make HIS family accept you, that is for him to do, and since he is not, he probably is no longer interested in you, for whatever reason.

  3. #3
    Slmz sister,
    I can relate to what you are experiencing having been in a similar situation. I now understand why Islam prohibits dating to protect us from such heartache. If you have both read Istikhara namaaz then perhaps his family not accepting you should be taken as a sign of the outcome. Only Allah swt can change hearts but think of your future. How will you ever feel you belong knowing in your heart his family never approved of you in the first place. What kind of life do you want in the future? Everyone wants to be close to their family, perhaps this will cause a rift. I'm sure he doesn't want that and neither do you. As difficult and painful as it is perhaps letting go and truly moving on is the only way forward. I did the same and today I'm happily married to a wonderful man whose family adores me. Allah swt knows best and only wants what is best for us. Perhaps in His infinite wisdom He knew we would not be able to handle the family tensions, etc. I hope you find peace. Its not easy but every girl dreams of a happy marriage and we all know in laws and family can make or break the marriage. Think carefully and pray that Allah swt make what is best for you come easy for you.

  4. #4

    let go

    Sweetie, please just let go of this man. If he can't stand up to his bro and sis in law before marriage, how is he ever gonna stand up to them in the future.
    How does a grown man have his phone taken away from him??
    You need a real man, a man who can stand up for what he wants and stand up for u.
    Imagine a life married to a depressive man who's life is controlled and dictated by others. You do not need that.
    This guy sounds really spineless.
    Don't worry about all the people around you that are getting married. Marriage is not the be all and end all of life. Focus this time you have on developing you as a person, your self respect, your education and your spirituality. The rest will fall into place when the Almighty has decreed. Find peace in yourself. May Allah give you peace and May you be blessed with the perfect marriage. IA Ameen

  5. #5
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Glasgow, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    Slmz sister ... As hard as it may seem now , i think it's best to rather move on.. I sincerely believe there will be someone better out there ,who's family will welcome you with open arms and love you as their own ..

    Will remember you in my dua's ..

  6. #6
    Forget about him. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't have the guts to stand up for you. Move on with your life

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