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mom needs reassurance.. am i doing the right thing?
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Thread: mom needs reassurance.. am i doing the right thing?

  1. #1
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    mom needs reassurance.. am i doing the right thing?

    Hi everyone, my husband and i have taken the decision of having a maid looking after our babies while we are at work as we have no family members where we live to help us.

    And in todays time, the option of being a stay at home mom is financially impossible.
    I would like to hear from other moms who have a maid to look after their kids, how can you guide me to ensure that mybabies r being taken care of. My son is 20 months n my daughter is 5 months.k

    How do i manage this maid to ensure my babies dont suffer? What tips can u share? What are the pros n cons of thisarrangement? do you think having a maid to take care of ur kids have pacted them negatively? Has ur relationship with ur child suffered coz u
    work? How do u spend time with

    H ur kids after work without worrying of household chores such as cooking etc.

  2. #2
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    I wish you all the best. I am a working mother and used to be plagued by similar worries. It took many years before I developed the wisdom and maturity to know that what I do IS in the best interest of my children. There are many "stay-at-home" mums whose kids are taken care of by maids because mummy spends a large portion of her day at they gym, shopping, running errands, car-pooling and socialising. So how different is your situation? Teachers in my kids school have oberved that working mums put more effort into their kids education, their books are covered and homework and projects are done first. And those are the kids who value their mums more!

  3. #3
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    You'll be fine.

    I currently use a stay in lady who used to look after my friends kids (best to get references for your ease of mind). I sent her for nanny training thru Edubabe . She is great with my son, he loves her! She does minimum housework and we get extra help once a month to do the windows etc. she prepares what's needed for supper,(peeling, grating etc) throwing everything together when I get home supper takes me 30min max, then I'm free to spend the evening with hubs and bubs.

    Pros of the arrangement are that the nanny has to obey your requests Ito how you would like things done with your kids whereas your mom or mil will do it their own way and you probably can't say anything. Con is that you sometimes feel guilty and would feel less guilty if it were kin looking after them.

    I don't think this arrangement has impacted my child negatively at all. In fact he is friendly and confident, not clingy at all. The key is to focus on the quality of time with your kids instead of quantity. The calibre of who you choose is very important. Get someone honest, reliable and trustworthy. Preferably an older lady who has had children of her own. Stay in would be ideal.

    We all have our reasons as to why we choose to be working moms and I don't think you should feel like a guilty or inferior mom, for some ladies, the mental stimulation of working makes them better parents. For some its the security of a two income household.

    Hope this has reassured you. You'll be fine.

    Tip: I installed cameras throughout my house so I could see what happened during the day, don't really watch the tapes anymore but it did provide me with some assurance initially.

  4. #4
    Unregistered
    Guest
    You'll be fine.

    I currently use a stay in lady who used to look after my friends kids (best to get references for your ease of mind). I sent her for nanny training thru Edubabe . She is great with my son, he loves her! She does minimum housework and we get extra help once a month to do the windows etc. she prepares what's needed for supper,(peeling, grating etc) throwing everything together when I get home supper takes me 30min max, then I'm free to spend the evening with hubs and bubs.

    Pros of the arrangement are that the nanny has to obey your requests Ito how you would like things done with your kids whereas your mom or mil will do it their own way and you probably can't say anything. Con is that you sometimes feel guilty and would feel less guilty if it were kin looking after them.

    I don't think this arrangement has impacted my child negatively at all. In fact he is friendly and confident, not clingy at all. The key is to focus on the quality of time with your kids instead of quantity. The calibre of who you choose is very important. Get someone honest, reliable and trustworthy. Preferably an older lady who has had children of her own. Stay in would be ideal.

    We all have our reasons as to why we choose to be working moms and I don't think you should feel like a guilty or inferior mom, for some ladies, the mental stimulation of working makes them better parents. For some its the security of a two income household.

    Hope this has reassured you. You'll be fine.

    Tip: I installed cameras throughout my house so I could see what happened during the day, don't really watch the tapes anymore but it did provide me with some assurance initially.

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