Hubby has a crush on sis in law

[Nanima]

PLEASE keep this post anonymous


I am married for 9years now and my hubby mentioned some things about his sis in law when we first got married which I thought was weird because it seemed like he had a thing for her eg. he said she looks like britney spears and she is such a nice person, I also caught him looking at her on occasions...I was pregnant at that time and didn't think much of it...lately I have been thinking should I be worried?also how can one tell if they husband is cheating?

[TempuraG]

The first thing you have to ask yourself is this:

1. Is there actual objective evidence that your husband is attracted to your SIL, or
2. Because you suspected he was attracted to her in the past, have you let it ferment in your mind so that now you are looking for evidence where there is none? I.e. is it your obsession?

Be honest with yourself. If it is the second, then you have to address your own insecurities and jealousies. Be truthful.

Now if it is more than that. It is very unrealistic to expect anyone in marriage to always be attracted only to their partner. That is just a fact. No one is ever going to be the only person that someone else has eyes for, no matter how gorgeous. Trust me your husband appreciates other women on a daily basis and so do you. You have to be a bit relaxed about this. Where it crosses a line is what he does about it.

If your husband is cheating it should be fairly easy to figure out. Does he have unexplained absences from home? Has his relationship with you changed?

It doesn't sound as if anything recent has actually happened to rouse your suspicion. It sounds like you are obsessing over things from 9 years ago (!). If you are truly worried I would do the following:
1. Work on yourself. Your appearance, your pleasantness, your insecurities, your strength as a person. Make yourself the kind of person you would want to DATE (not be married to).
2. Think about whether you and your husband meet each other's emotional and other needs. Concentrate on just you and him.
3. If you are really concerned, cut down the amount of time you spend with your SIL, and speak to a trusted member of your family.

No one deserves to be cheated on and if he is cheating you have no obligation to remain in the marriage. But from what you've written it sounds like the problem is at this stage with you and your suspicion.

[Anon9]

Dont let Shaytaan play with your mind. Speak to your husband about you insecurities. Communication is key

[Unregistered]

Aslm. I have the same problem sister. I am married to my husband for 5 years and he is very friendly to his brother's wife. I have confronted him many times and this always makes him angry and abusive towards me. He insists that he is not having an affair with her. The worst part is that she is friendly to him as well and her husband does not see what is happening.

She is very nasty towards me and we had a confrontation wherein she said some very nasty things to me in front of my husband. My mother in law was present and she defended me and that woman said very nasty things to my mother in law as well. He did not even defend me or say anything to her when she was screaming and shouting at his mother. This has made me have a hatred towards both of them and I have come to a point in my relationship where I no longer respect or love him. I am so depressed and my mind constantly wanders to that situation where he did not even protect me. This makes me even more upset and angry.

Please give me any suggesstions on what to do. Jzk.

[Unregistered]

I'm not saying this is the case, but some people are evil enough to use Jadoo and Black Magic. So read Yaseen and Ayatul Kursi, Surah Ahad, Falaq and Naas and blow on his food or tea or coffee. Do this for a few days and see what happens.

May Allah (SWT) bring back the love in your marriage. Ameen.