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Thread: Mother inlaw n sister inlaw

  1. #1
    sister in need of help
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    Mother inlaw n sister inlaw

    Slms I need help urgently. I'm married almost 2years,I have a 3month old daughter,my husband left us to stay with his parents. They control him a lot,they have no respect 4the fact that he is 22yrs old and is the soul provider at home. They refuse 4him to be apart of mine n babys lives. A moulana confimed that they using black magic to get him to leave us for they don't want him to provide 4us,they want everything from him. They drain him 4every cent. When he complains that he doesn't have they ask him what he does with his money.


    I've never stopped him from providing 4them but they taking advantage. They always make sure he doesn't do what I ask of him. All his spare time goes to them.
    Hubby says that if I want my own place that I have to get a job!pay rent and put fooD on the table as he can't n won't do bcoz his parents are his priority.

    I've went to jamiat to try and get some1 to talk to him and them. But they refused when the moulana called them.

    I have a 3month old baby and I want her to grow up with her father. I've tried talking to him,tried meeting him halfway. But whatever my mother in law is doing is very strng as he never listens to what I've got to say.

    His 16 year old sister dictates to him. She has no repect 4him. I don't know what to do anymore.

    If any1 can guide me as to what to do plz I would really appreciate it.

  2. #2
    Unregistered
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    My dear sister, I am very sorry for your situation. Honestly though, there is nothing you can do. You cannot control other people. If he does not want to be part of your life, there is nothing you can do. You have tried everything. Forgive me if I offend you, but this "black magic" is an excuse to explain human nature. Some people are just nasty and get a kick out of making others miserable. How his family treats him is none of your concern. If his sister has no respect for him, he is choosing to accept that. You both sound very, very young, at 22 it is easy to be manipulated. My advice to you is you should move on. Legally, you should get child support, and I suggest you look into this. Is there anywhere you can go? Can you go back to your parents or another family member while you get your life sorted out? What skills do you have? Can you get a job? Be practical, and think of your child. Your baby deserves a wonderful home, and that may not include your husband. I know it is not what you want, and I completely understand. However, this is not your choice, it is his. He chose this, you are just making the best of a bad situation. It is better to be raised by a single mother than witness your parents fighting and your father treating your mother badly.

    He obv knows you can't go anywhere and so does his family. Don't be surprised if he suddenly wakes up when he realises you might actually leave with his child. If he does want to reconcile, be firm. Tell him things need to change. He is taking you for granted. You are a wonderful, strong woman and you can make it without him. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Good luck xxx

  3. #3
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    dear sister,i totally agree with the other person wu respondd,u r so young,your future full of promise,make ur decision on whats rite 4 u nd ur baby.dnt let ppl treat u bad,u hav all the rite to make certain demands frm ur husband.

  4. #4
    Unregistered
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    Salaams sister. Islamically it is your husbands duty to provide for you and your child. And you have the right to your own place. You need to be independent so no one can bully you, you can stand on your own.

    Black magic does exist, it is mentioned in the quraan. However , ensure the moulana you are consulting with is reputable. Often , problems are made from nothing solid but just for the sake of making them and conning people.

    Ask a reputable moulana to give you duas or verses from the quraan to read so to remove the evil (if any) has been done unto your husband and yourself. Sadly I must also say that sometimes you are better of without a husband like that and his toxic family. Who is to say that you will ever get a break from their nonsense.

    Unfortunately, some people still live in the dark ages where they. Believe their reason for existence is to create misery and trouble for their daughter in law. As for your sister in law, if your husband allows it u can not do much about it, but if she is disrespectful to u , then u stand up for yourself.

    Don't put yourself down and be a sacrificial lamb, you deserve to be happy and a so does your kid deserve a comfortable life.

    If someone can leave you when clearly his parents are wrong , he is a big mummy's boy and will never change. You are indeed very young but it is not necessarily a bad thing. You can pick yourself up and do what is in the best interest for you and your child. Don't try to please your in laws , because that is impossible. Its not about what's best for them and they r just toxic sister, best to be away from such awful beings.

  5. #5
    Unregistered
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    Sister I would advise you to read manzil and blow in whatever you are giving your husband to drink. If its blacl magic with Allahs help it will be removed. Insha-Allah.

  6. #6
    sister in need of help
    Guest

    mother in law and sister in law

    Slms to 1 and all. Jazakallah 4 all the advice. It means a great deal to me.As a wife I encourage him to do 4them
    But he insists that they come first. I'm living with my mother and 2brothers at the moment.

    He says that he will come and stay with me if I get a job (I am waiting 4 feed back from an interview that I've attented a few days ago.

    I don't mind paying the rent and putting food on the table but is it not his duty to look after me?

    2day was his day off work and he came to see us n to take us to his parents house 4 them to see our child ,dispite knowing that they doing black magic and that they don't want him with us. I agreed. B4 we left 4their place we went to get a few things that I needed 4baby,I remembered I needed more of my shampoo n conditioner n took some. When he he asked who was paying 4it bcoz he isn't. So I put it back on the shelve.

    I love him a lot and I know he loves me. Yes I hurt him b4 but I've made maaf 4it and have never done it again. Yet he keeps hurting me. And I still run back

    Anyway we got to his parents everything was fine untill his sister got home. I was packing the rest of things that was at their place wen my mil took my baby to their room I asked her to please not give her to my sister in law,(I don't trust her with my baby as I had a miscarriage in 2011 becoz of her and also she gave my baby colic drops straight into the mouth even tho there was a big thing saying DO NOT ADMISTOR to infints straight from dropper ) my mother in law still gave my child to her and went to check on her. I got upset to took my baby away.

    Anyway a long story short. They got upset started swearing at me and my mother inlaw told me to f**** out of her house b4 she f***s me up.


    I took all my things and hubby brought me back to my mums place. Just like they look out 4their daughter,I do 4mine.

    Allah knows best I'm not a nasty person I have a very soft heart but don't take advantage of me. I walked out and greeted them nicley.

    As f now if they don't want to see me,they won't see or be apart of my daughters life
    Allah is great and insha allah with what the moulana gave me to read and burn will bring back my husband and make them back off.

    After all this I still told him that he must support them n put food on their table

    Jazakallah again. May allah bless u all

  7. #7
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
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    ws, i think you are blaming a lot of your problems on black magic, which may or may not be the case. now i see you are trying to get your husband back by burning things etc.. Allah knows best what is happening but you have to learn to trust Allah and not blame your problems on things you don't know are fact.. mufti menk wrote a great post on black magic.. please be very careful when accusing others of jadoo etc...

    I am not sure which aalim you went to etc.. best to read your duas for protection, read surah baqarah daily to keep shaytaan. read ayatal kursi often.
    you have done something to your husband it sounds like that has alienated him, i don't think you are telling us teh full story.. you said you asked for maaf, whatever you done there must have driven him away not black magic or jadoo. although we agree that these things exist, sometimes we don't deal with our problems and we take the quick escape route to blame others for our problems and jadoo and black magics seems to be the first thing everyone will blame. please deal with your issues between you and your husband without the jadoo and even thinking about black magic..

    why doesn't he want to support you by even buying shampoo?

    Mufti menk says the following
    Engaging in any type of magic or witchcraft directly or indirectly, visiting people who claim to cast spells on others for purposes of affecting others, going to a fortune teller or a soothsayer and believing him or her in the least is considered such a major sin that it removes a person from the fold of Islam.

    In order to solve matters or to get back at others, a growing number are turning to magic or witchcraft, seeking the help of jinn to affect others or appeasing the devil or "spirits" of the dead. This is in complete contradiction of the Divine Law of the Almighty. We are taught that although this does occur, it is prohibited to engage in such activity that exits one from Islam instantly.

    On the other hand, to accuse people of witchcraft because a "jinn" or spirit said it was them, or the exorcist said so, or without proper tangible evidence, is also one of the most dangerous sins that very seriously damages one's belief in the Almighty if at all there is any remaining in the heart. The jinn are never to be believed nor sought assistance from. Revelation says they lie and make fools out of mankind and lead us further astray.

    In most cases innocent family members are blamed so that satan or the jinn succeeds in splitting up the most united of homes forever. At times, the so called religious fall prey to the jinns traps by taking the names provided by them without realizing they have been lied to, fooled and used to break up the best of relations.

    Curing those affected in any way is clearly taught by the Messenger pbuh and consists of the repeated recitation of verses and supplications together with specific prayers and some dietary changes where raw honey, extra virgin olive oil, the black seed and its oil, the ajwah date and zam zam water are used.

    Daily verses of protection to be read morning and evening are taught and should never be missed by the believers. May we all be protected from the devils plot. Aameen

  8. #8
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
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    if you are adamant this is still black magic, go to experts that heal this according to quraan and sunnah ways and ask them for proper advise on how to deal with this..
    http://www.ruqyahshariah.co.uk/

  9. #9
    Unregistered
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    Slmz to all. I agree with nanima , if he can't even buy you shampoo something is definitely wrong. However, you must read the manzil, (it is a collection of verses from the quraan) , for protection from such evil's. Surely , Allah knows best. You need to really think about what you are doing here- what kind of life do you want to be living. Do you want to keep "fighting for your husband" all your life, because if this is not jadoo , then there are serious issues with your husband.

    I would be so angry if my husband asked me "who is paying for it" if I need some toiletries that is necessary. Shampoo??? Come now, something is definitely wrong. Can I ask also, what was the need to get married so young as well? People often don't know what they're getting into, often to find out that they married someone who doesn't really care about them. If I were u n my hubby told me that, I would tell him its his duty to pay for it because I don't have money , and that he should know that.

    I'm sorry sister but if someone treats you that badly you should walk. Was he always like this? Everyone has nasty in laws dear, we just need to learn how to avoid them & if the hubby doesn't stand with u when they r wrong, then he is really not worth it. I would not even have gone to their house to visit. I wud tell him , sorry ur family hates me so why do I owe them the privilege of seeing my child? Unless it boils down to what u did to hurt ur husband that they r using against u...

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