no intimacy from husband

[Unregistered]

Dearest Nanima, please help me, I've been struggling with this since I got married in 2010..I'm 44 husb 42, I don't blve wre that old to be intimate..I can tell we've prbly been intimate for 8 times eva,I need to be physically satisfied, husband satisfies himself by looking at porn and satisfies himself, wen I'm not around , he doesn't know that I know, but he always gives the excuse that his mind is full, work is pressure, his diabetes is acting up etc..I love him dearly and he is very affectionate,but the only thing lacking is us being intimate..I want to leave him , and tell him to rather look for someone else who will be prepared to accept this life, but I can't be married to my brother??that's how it feels like..I don't feel like a married woman at all, am I being unreasonable? Please tell me what to do?

[Unregistered]

From a male perspective who has recently also started losing intimacy feelings towards his wife. The first few years of our marriage was great and we bonded both emotionally and physically. However in the last year I just have becoming less interested in her and its because I want her to be more kinky and less conservative in the bedroom. I am not deprived of intimacy but because it so mechanical and boring, I stopped wanting it with her. I have become obsessed with sleeping with a other woman of different races, women and doing all those things on TV. I am disgusted with myself and on my own trying to resolve it. Why I am telling you this is because there is always an underlying reason why a man will not be intimate with his wife. It could be a number of reasons but the only way you going to find out is by talking to him. If he is not listening you can threaten him with separation because intimacy is your right as a women. Our typical indian/muslim wife become too boring in bed as we age, please if this the reason for him not wanting you then become a star in your bedroom if you have to (to save your marriage).

[Unregistered]

Jazaakallah for your advice..I want to talk about it, so badly, but he won't,he just say that me mentioning it everytime,just makes him 'pull back more'..that's his words.he just won't face the truth..and trust me, I have tried being loose and easy and kinky in the room, but to no avail.