Daughter

[Unregistered]

Slmz. My daughter is exceptionally beautiful alhamdulilah. She's 21 problem is I went to sort out her cupboard and found various types of lingerie underwear. Lacy bras and diff type of panties. Apart from that I found necklaces bracelets lots of money etc so when I approached her and the situation got heated I came to the conclusion she has a bf. Her varsity grades r still excellent problem is I don't like the guy if his doing so much before marriage that's personal where is his respect? My daughters as guilty don't get me wrong. What is wrong with the youngsters I brought her up the right way why are children becoming burdens?

[Unregistered]

Wslmz, ur daughter is an adult. 21 is certainly not a child anymore, she definitely knows by now what's right, & what's wrong.
U r right to b concerned, as her bf must respect her, & if he likes her dat much to buy her extravagent gifts & give her money, he needs to come and introduce himself to u and the grls father. And ask for a formal proposal.
Odawise, whose to know if he is just using her? Apart from that, a lot of barakah is lost in a persons life, if u choose to follow behaviours dat r not islamic.
I am not saying that ur daughter is doing anything wrong, am jus sayin, it is easy for a grl to fall hopelessly in love wit a guy, esp if he showers her wit affection, love and gifts.
Many grls mistake dis for true love.
Ur daughter must respect herself, and not accept money from boys, whether its her bf or not.
if the boy does not formally commit, or come home and introduce himself,at least
Express wot his intentions r, I'd b worried too.
As gifts of that sort are of a personal nature.
He probably will expect something in return, mayb her loyalty etc. Thus this will decrease her options, from maybe her actually meetin a decent boy or noticing the oda proposals as a potential.
This is not healthy, becos if her bf leaves her one day for sum1 else, mayb younger and more beautiful, wot position will dat leave her in?
Jus time wasted and alota heartache.
Talk to ur daughter, just the two of u, have a heart to heart wit her and voice ur concerns.
In da end, mothers only want what's best 4 their children.
The youth must b guided and u did the right thing by confronting her.
Even If she rebels, at the back of her mind, ur words will still b there, and she will ponder over them and maybe even start asking her bf y doesn't he come home to introduce himself
Etc.
u should also tell ur daughter dat u do trust her judgement,
Bt there r times when a mother needs to intervene, esp when she can clearly see something is not right.
May Allah make it easy for u, inshAllah ameen.

[Unregistered]

1st problem is you jumped to conclusions.
there could be any number of reasons she has all this stuff, she is 21 so pretty much an adult so treat her as one and ask her honestly what's going on, dont get angry and argue about it.

you never know and this may sound odd but I know lots of girls, that buy Lingerie and jewellery for no one else but themselves.

and if she does have a BF, the more you forbid it the more she will run towards him, best to talk this out

[Unregistered]

Hey u cant send ur daughter out in the rain and expect her not to get wet

[Unregistered]

Hey u cant send ur daughter out in the rain and expect her not to get wet

well said....100% true....

all said and done.... everything is not lost.... now that she is wet after you sent her out in the rain its time to dry her up...
alhamdollilah...she is still in your care...she has iman... and is still a muslim....
first step is sincere tauba
next is helping her not to get wet in the rain again and that can be done by getting back to the teachings of our deen...insha allah all will be well

[Unregistered]

It sounds like he would be using her..
Because she is brought up in a stict environment she would want to experiment
She's also at the age to experiment.. I mean why else would she have lingerie hidden away

Just speak to her, like everyon else said

[Unregistered]

I'm 21 and I have money and lingerie as well as jewellery all of which iv bought or saved. Pls don't assume that just coz these things are there it means a guy is in the picture or your daughter is doing something wrong. Wearing sexy underwear does not mean a guy is involved it just means u feel nice n its a normal part of growing up. Don't just overreact a person can save and buy nice stuff for themselves

[Unregistered]

Well with the muslim girls these days they would be sneaking around doing nonsense
You would be surprised how many of them aren't even virgins, its horrid