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Thread: getting married, could he still be using drugs

  1. #1
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
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    getting married, could he still be using drugs

    Slms nanima, i am on the verge of possibly getting engaged. i have been speaking to this person for a year and a half and initially we met up, not frequently but we did. im not proud of it but for the last half year all we do is IM we want all the barakat in marriage insha Allah. my prob is i found out that before we got together he had used drugs. he has assured me that it hasnt happened in a while and i decided not to be judgemental and believe him. besides, he's got a good head and seems mature and is islamic concscious ands thata also y i gave it a chance... i always make dua that Allah direct me towards marriage if he is good for me. my mother then met him and said he seemed like a good boy aside from one thing which worried her, his eyes were sunken n red. i havent told her bout the past because my family has no tolerance not even of past drug use. But when she met him i seen him too n also noticed his eyes but dint say anything even when she commented on it after. he's never given reason to suspect him, not even varied moods or anything but that day he looked it. could it be nerves on meeting my mother ? has anyone had a similar situation? and can u take it as a sign in answer to duas... i really wanna be wrong but im justso lost.

  2. #2
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    Safe than sorry

    I don't know whether he's on or off it. Just want to say, if it's hard drugs, those dudes don't leave that stuff so easily hey.

    Safe than sorry.

  3. #3
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    will he consent to a random drug test...tmrw??

  4. #4
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    patience

    Never marry sum1 knowing they on drugs. It can caus alota problems. Drug users will lie repetitively n make promises they cnt kp. Red eyes r defntly a sign of drug use. B careful n consult ur parents b4 decidin 2 marry. U hav evry ryt. 2 ask 4 a drug test othawise until he cleans up his act.

  5. #5
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    If you have even the slightest doubt, which is apparent from your question - don't marry him. And don't keep anything from your parents. They are looking out for your best interests!

  6. #6
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    Your mother seems to sense something to be worried about and even you seem to be concerned. If it were me I'd rather play it safe. Besides looking for a husband you need to look for qualities of a future father to your kids. So many girls seem to say that all the boys have something in their past. If you make dua and leave it in Allahs hand you will إنشاء الله find someone worthy. Don't rush and just settle. Marriage is tough enough without added complications.

  7. #7
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    he has offered the test. but i guess it would have to be random?

    i dint meet him in a chatroom but we IM as in whatsapp only thats to try and hav less contact. inshA Allah

    @ patience - i dont know for sure and im trying to think with my head thats y im asking these qs ... i cant go to family and i dont tell my friends much because things have a way of blowing up in your face

  8. #8
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    @ the person who says look for a future father to your kids, isnt it kinda hard if theyre all lying?
    i can say that about him... he covers my weaknesses in character. for example im short tempered and he thinks n reasons
    everyone wants that n sometimes someone with a past can be better than someone without one if he cleans up.... he's been through alot, his dad was murdered, has alota resposibility which he takes on willingly ... its never clear cut

  9. #9
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    fed up

    Judging from ur last 2 posts I'd say u pretty much have ur mind made up and u do want to marry this guy, so why come ask for advice here? Its clear u think he's good for u , u dig ur hole u sleep in it! No such thing as drug addicts clearing themselves up iv been working with drug addicts and its a total failure. Once a drug addict always a drug addict! Places like RAUF and rehab centers alike think theyr doing people good, but iv seen drugs being sold at those places, don't make the mistake, but if ur minds made up then kindly dig a hole deep enough to fit u both in so as to keep ur future problems to urself. Also please and not bring children to this world if drugs are involvd. Love life is a fairy tale , slap urslef and wake up.

  10. #10
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    i dug no hole.... but i do believe in the power of dua made with faith n sincerity
    i also believe that a muslim has somethin extra in his favour because of his imaan and for him to turn to Allah is not an impossibilty.
    for people of no faith theres no escape but for those with faith it is possible that the realization of something bigger and someone hearing there souls cry can pull them out of darkness. compare the suicide rate in muslims as compared to the rest of the world. that is y if u see islamic inclination is someone isnt it better to harnass that inclination. im not saying he is or isnt doing. im saying i have good intentions in the end my creator will decide for me. n yes i am confused and worried but thats no reason to think yourself so much better than someone that u can pass judgement on whether he really can or cannot turn his life around.....i heard a lecture today, we dont know if a person who is so pious is in a better position in the eyes of Allah than one who seems faithless. Allah knows best.

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