Quote Originally Posted by Nanima View Post
second wife could be an option. the only issue that may come about is your child. what happens to your child when you at your other wife. is your wife able to look after your child alone without supervision?
my suggestion from the start is first let us find out what we dealing with. you said that you haven't told people and it seems like you want to protect your wife maybe but then maybe go to someone that is not close to where you live and just get her evaluated to find out what is her condition exactly..
then from there you can make plans..
once you have sorted out your first situation and your wife has coping skills and maybe more independent then maybe you can think about wife number two.
but for now let us on just focus on finding out what we can do to make your wife less frustrated.. who knows it may be something so simple.. medical technology so advanced maybe if she goes through some therapies it will be like a light switch that turns on. Allah knows.. for now.. wake up for tahajud and ask Allah to guide you.
Amazingly enough there are many ladies that seem to be going for inaccessible married man. inshAllah you seem like a good guy.. you may find someone willing to come on this journey with you.. you will also have to find someone that is compassionate. maybe also someone that will be good to your child and also compassionate to your first wife. have you asked your wife if this is an option..
As a matter of fact after reading all these posts, I did talk to her about it this afternoon, I started with talking to her about concentrating on things properly and she started to cry, almost as if she felt she was useless I felt bad, she said she can't concentrate and so on, she want he's television so I asked her what happened in a program she watched the other day and she told me, so I told her, see how do you know what happened? It's because you were concentrating on it, I also spoke to her about how different people are good at different things and honestly I did speak to her about another wife and I put it to her in this way, that whatever she is not able to do the other person may be able to do and she can learn from her and also that whatever she can do that the other person can't she can teach her, she seemed to have accepted the idea after a while, thing is, she is not a difficult person to influence and a part of me feels I am taking advantage of that, tho it really is not my intention as I could have influenced her a long time ago if I wanted, I was merely trying to show her how it would be of benefit to us. I also tried explaining to her that it is not always important to get things 100% right the important thing is that you try to get it right, make the effort. She did cry and then she laughed and cried again and laughed and I asked how she felt about what I suggested, bad, medium or good and she said medium. It is a very complex situation, I will heed your suggestion tho and first find out discreetly what the exact problem is and work from there, and yes she is able to look after the kid unsupervised but at times very absent minded or ignorant to a potentially dangerous situation, for example she won't see an issue with placing the child on a wall about 1.5mts of the ground but I cannot take away from her the fact that for the better part, she is definitely capable of monitoring the child temperamental yes, she may shout and stuff at the child but not violent towards the child. You make a lot of sense, if there is a 4th human being that comes into this equation, they have to be willing to integrate with all of us, i would also want everyone to live at least on one property so nobody is ever to far away. Before all of that comes into play tho, I will first find the root of my wife's problem. I also hope the amount of ladies going for inaccessible married men declines.