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Thread: Spice your Sex Drive

  1. #1

    Spice your Sex Drive

    Im married for almost 2 years and my husband is 9+years older than me, we had an arranged marriage .
    After the honeymoon phase died down. He will be intimate with me every day, making out cuddling, kissing, holding me in the night but sex didn't always follow the process . I understood our sex drive difference could be because of our age gap. But i wanted More.

    Some times i Used go with as lil as once a week, when i would more liked it twice a day. And i couldn't take it, it frustrated me emotionally and sexually . If i would try to cry myself to sleep he'll get up and have sex with me, but out of guilt, that hurt. Yes we communicated about it, but he said he's satisfied with our sex life and he throughly enjoys himself, as did i on the occasion.

    He is the most loving a caring man a woman can wish for* i make shukr everyday, but i needed to tackle my problem head on, as soon as talk about starting a family occurred , I seized the opportunity to raise my constant desire for sexual gratification and liking the opportunity to explore with him, while we were family planning. Heres some tips that helped me.
    1. Sexy clothes. Not just lingerie, if you live alone spice it up a bit,*ditch the kaftans and baggy clothes, wear clothes you wouldnt dare be caught outside your house with, people might look at a hijabi buying shorts that could pass as underwear but its for a very rewarding purpose. Your home is your intimacy and comfort zone. Let him know you dont dress up only when going in public but also specially only for him at home.

    2. Try unconventional methods to daily routines, shower surpises are the best, even if its just to shower together, showers are cheap shots to sex as my husband likes to call them, but lately sometimes he pulls more cheap shots than i do, which is great. Try eating a meal in different parts of the house, eg supper in a picnic style on the lounge floor, or outside, dinner in bed, make it romantic . Get him to do chores with you rather than instructing him what to do or what you want done, cook a meal together, clean up the kitchen or household work together.If you have a pool hidden from prying eyes i even suggest some skinny dipping, how you get him there can be your secret. Keep the mood going during the day, naughty msgs and teasing pictures, it is halaal and your husband. Go for random drives in the evening, even if you just park somewhere quiet and talk. After a romantic and intimate evening sex will automatically be on the table as the perfect way to end a romantic day.

    3. Get kinky, especially if you're already in your* deepest comfort zone with your partner , get out the hancuffs, little feather whips or whatever will work for you (hatred of wooden spoons since the obvious indian childhood?* now make him giggle at them). Let yout partner know you want to try something new so they can be open minded and enjoy the experience.

    4. Guide him. I found that there is much more pleasuring when you show him what you want rather than tell him what to do. Just cuddling and want to spice that up? Grab and guide his hands into your pants while you grind and writhe under his touch, ladies this is my go to move. Roleplay is great foreplay, fish him for suggestions on what to Roleplay, I'm all for respectful love making, but role-playing can be so exciting and spontaneous and gives him the chance to explore his desires and fantasies.

    5. PDA. Well secret PDA. Out shopping and no1 in eyeshot, tease him. Or if there's no way to physically tease him, whisper what you cant wait to get home and do to him. A few times while at my inlaws, when I'd get him alone for a few minutes, its a sexy few minutes.

    when you get married think of your partners sex drive as a blank canvas, you can enjoy and keep up to their high sex drive* or you can encourage and motivate their low sex drive WITHOUT making them feel like they lacking in that department. Automatically he will start keeping up with you because he realises you keep him on his toes. And trust me he will enjoy himself.* Make sure you communicate as well. Tell him what you enjoyed him doing to you or what you enjoyed doing to him. If you're on your monthly, take care of him only* show him you also think about his pleasure just as much as your own.

    Maaf for all the directness. I had no mother or anyone to advice me about marriage or intimacy, after i was married i realised how many young girls entered marriage this way** be it with no guidance, arranged marriage, sex talk being kept hushed and I've read a lot of stories here regarding similar issues. This helped me a lot. But remember make your partner understand you before anything.

    Maybe men can use this advice with wives also, it could work. Remember marriage is a team. I hope my simple advice helps you.

  2. #2
    I must say, there is nothing wrong with such talks. True as it may be there are many girls who go into marriage without guidance on how to maintain a sex life or their partners drive. Girls need to be educated on such stuff. I really dislike how sex is usually a taboo topic in muslim communities. And theres only so much a mother can actually tell her daughter about sex.

    We need more people with a broader and open mind to be able to help girls and discuss these issues. I find that islam may prohibit pre marital sex and we hear about abstaining from zina countless times, but help the poor girls who want to get married and please their husband's.

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