Where are the real men?

[Unregistered]

Every home needs a back bone , and Man is a back bone of the family .

I am a stay at home mom , a house wife with two small kids 2 &4 . I don’t keep a maid .

A house wife has many responsibilities n I enjoy what I do . My husband works the whole day , slogs in the hot weather for me n kids . It is my duty to serve him . I would never expect him to do chores , never !!!!

[Unregistered]

As a woman I studied very hard to get where I am today and no man is going to take that away . I have my own apartment n car . You don’t need man to complete your life . Woman need to be independent. We living in a time where u cannot trust men , and I have seeen many men like u poster , u bribe or threaten your wife with divorce so she stays and serves u like a king . The king is Allah not you. Taking her for holidays who U think u bluffing ? You do it so she stays with u , disgusting.
Fear Allah.

Fairytale marriage in my dreams !!!

[Unregistered]

The world needs more men and women like this. May Allah bless the poster and his wife with even more love and understanding. I was so happy to see that there are other such men and women in the world. Subhaanallah.

Just so astonished at how people assume and berate.... It's due to their complexes and jealousy that they will look for every way to prove that posters wife is not happy or that the poster is an oppressor.

Problem is that we have strayed sooooooooooo far from Islam and the sunnah of Nabi Salallaho alayhi wasallam and his Sahaba that our minds cannot even fathom happiness in that.

May Allah guide all.

[Unregistered]

This is an ideal old fashioned home style of living .
As we love our career and being the queen u can enjoy staying at home n serving ur husband n being the queen.
I will never leave my career . I worked hard and earned my independence. We don’t need a man to complete us . Stand tall woman don’t let a man walk over u . Be proud of who you are and what u can achieve.

[Unregistered]

Alhamdulilla Allah has blessed you and your wife. Its this modernist thinking that if a women doesnt work or wear the pants she cant be happy. I am married 13years this year and our lives are pretty much the same as yours. Although i do have a maid but the running around with my kids, cooking and cleaning up etc is only done by me. I dont expect my husband to do it and i do it happily. He helps in other ways like with homework or sabak. He works hard to provide for us even if it is not the wifes duty, it should be dne out of gratitude and love. Brother may Allah bless you and ur wife eternally and continue showering his blessings upon ur marriage.

[Unregistered]

Poster can you please ask your wife to give us her point of view regarding all this. It would be interesting to see her side and why she does what she does

[Unregistered]

In my house, even though I am at home, I won't pick up after people. If they leave the tea cup there, when u back it will be in same place. If you did not make your bed when you get back it will be unmade. I trained my kids at young age to pick up after themselves.lol my husband needs some training still at times. I think you could have made a more positive impact with this post. Your wife sounds happy doing what she does. You had to approach this from an angle to encourage others on your winning formula instead of attacking working mothers. Also please agree that it does not emasculate a man if he helps around the house? Do you agree that it was not beneath the greatest of mankind to help his family? You are lucky your wife does not want you there but it does not make you less of a man if you pack the dishwasher? Even though Allah does provide. We have to make an effort. Food does not fly on the table. We don't have a zakaatable system that can cater effectively for all the cases. Most of the zakah institution are empowering widows to earn a living.

[Unregistered]

Pls ask your wife to tell us her side

[B. Rukie]

Please brother, sit on your musallah tonight and ask yourself whether you wanted to post because you had an opinion, or because the lives of others anger you so much that you wanted to put them down.

Because you are entitled to the first one, but you must accept the criticism that comes your way.
Side note: If it's an opinion, why remain anonymous? If you are so staunch about it, say it proudly and accept the criticism that comes with it. Otherwise, it's just cowardly.
And if it's the second one, make taubah because that sort of anger will eat away at you.

Now, let's validate your opinion for a second and give you the right to have it.
And you are allowed to have an opinion, but you will not attempt to shame others in the process, and you are entitled to the consequences of your opinion, especially since it so harshly attacks others.

You ask where the real men are.
They're probably avoiding you, because of the judgments you make, to be completely honest.
You are the company that you keep, so if you do not know any real men, you're probably not one either.

Anyway, what is a real man?
To my knowledge, it is one who is anatomically considered to be of the male gender.
But let's discuss this from your point of view.

You claim that real men 'wear the pants' of the relationship.
I did not realise that mopping or sweeping emasculated any man? In fact, I think it makes them even manlier because THEY ARE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND THOSE AROUND THEM.
You think caring for others is just about making money for them? It's not.

The 'real men'?
They pick up after themselves and others, because they are not filthy, and because they are conscious of the fact that Allah is watching.
Imagine Allah seeing you not lift a finger while your wife AND MOTHER slave around the clock.
Speaking of which, why is your mother working in the kitchen since after Fajr? Where is your respect for her? Or do you forget her rights over you and your responsibilities towards her, because you think that as a woman, she 'should be in the kitchen?' Please, before you speak any further, observe whether what you speak is Sunnah or misogyny.

You say your wife 'does not allow you to help'.
I do not honestly know how to handle that one, because do you need to be formally invited to take care of your home?
You seem intent on insisting that you do not help because she does not 'let you'.
My brother, consider this a formal invitation to help her out around the house.

Secondly, you say that it is a woman's duty to obey her husband.
MashaAllah, yes it is. And subhanAllah, you have such a loving and wonderful wife.
You on the other hand, are a nightmare.
To think that you consider yourself a Muslim and yet cherrypick Sunnahs and Fatwahs to support your own toxic beliefs, while ignoring the many others that you should have observes before posting this.


Allah SWT has, in his infinite wisdom, blessed women to bear children.
He has made women knowledgeable (Look at stories of the female sahaaba and the unending extent of their thirst for knowledge)
He has said that Jannat lies beneath the feet of a mother.
And you dare disrespect these very same women by creating an entire post criticising women for their choices and for how they choose to live their lives?
You dare insult them by calling those who choose a career path 'gold diggers'? (which is a completely incorrect term for a career woman, but let's ignore that)

I know of MANY women who work full time and still come home and take care of their kids and clean their houses and 'MAKE THEIR HOUSES A HOME', and I think it's despicable that you would call them 'gold diggers' or say that they are disobeying Allah.
Nauzubillah.
These women deserve to be commended. The men who help these women take care of their home and their children together, also deserve to be commended.
The women who choose to stay at home and take care of the home and their children also deserve to be commended.
Do you know who doesn't deserve to be commended?
Men who make rash and broad judgments and use religion to hide their misogyny and toxic cultural infiltration. Also, men who take away the power of choice from their and other women and hide behind a cloak of anonymity to make such judgments.

Make sincere taubah and seek education, brother.
Seek guidance.

Ya Allah.
You have spoken with such perceived knowledge of the Prophet and his Sahaaba that please ask yourself this.
Did the Prophet denounce women who work? Did the Prophet ever demean a woman by calling her a 'gold digger' for seeking a career? Nauzubillah, please do not insult Khadija RA with your insolence and cherry-picked faux wisdom. Would you call her a gold-digger??
Would the Prophet, in his wisdom, condone how you chose to handle a matter such as this?
Would he condone your vile words, your condescension and your judgment?
You seem so concerned with what other people are doing, would he condone this?
Personally, I do not think so.
But if you do, then continue.

You seem to have a need to validate your marriage and I think that's sad. Strangers on the Internet are under no obligation to validate your experiences, agree with you or take your abuse.

If your marriage works for you, then MashaAllah. Allah has blessed you.
But do not for one second think that gives you a right to judge and condemn others.
Do not think that just because your situation works, that you have a right to criticise others for being different.

May Allah guide you and continue to bless your marriage, and grant you wisdom to stop making judgments about other people.

[Unregistered]

that is soooo beautiful. May Allah grant u all the barakaah and happiness in your marriage.