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Thread: Where are the real men?

  1. #1
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012

    Where are the real men?

    It seems that many many men do not wear the pants in their home . From the responses to people problems some woman seem to come through with replyís so cheekily , so adamant, so rude , not all woman but many give the impression .

    May be men like their woman this way . Maybe men like to help their wives in the kitchen cutting onion n setting the table n putting on the washing n sweeping n mopping the floors etc

    Well I am the man of my house . And my wife stays home , home schools my kids , cooks n cleans . Not one day does she complain oh n did I mention that my mother stays with us . We donít keep a maid either . My wife does everything.
    Yes she gets tired n no I donít help her cause she wonít let me ,

    Everyday when I come home my wife is happily awaiting me we are married for 7 years now . Happy years .

    The love that allah has put in our marriage because we respect each other , my wife never nags cause when I say NO she knows I mean it n I explain why .
    It is her duty to listen n obey her husband . Allah has made man the ruler of the house . My wife is not afraid of me but it is the respect n hayaa she has been brought up with

    I on the other hand , the man of the house give my wife all my love n support n respect her for what she does my me n my family . I shower her with love ❤️ gifts n holidays etc cause she deserves it . I love her to bits

    We never think of one day when we get divorced what will happen ? Nor do we think if one of us have to die what will happen either . Cause rozi Allah gives . Birds who feeds them ? Fishes in the ocean ? Insects ? Etc allah is the provider .... not your degree or your status .

    Today woman want a career cause they say if they divorced or if their husbands die what will become of them ?
    U think negatively than that what u get .

    A woman, her father must look after her , or her brother or her husband or her son . If nobody is there for her than she can collect zakaat . I heard mufti AK Husain day this on his many QnA . Ladies feel embarrassed to take zakaat but prefer to disobey Allah n go out and work . Where is the barakhaa in this earning ?

    Secret to a happy life . Men wear the pants 👖 n woman respect your husbands , n serve them like kings they will in return treat u like a queen. Donít your husbands are not romantic n not loving etc u oh woman take the first step if u want to see happiness in ur marriage.

    If u going to say why must woman take the first step etc n why men are leaders etc than that is a sign you donít want a happy married life. Men n woman are not equal . Each play different roles . Yo make a happy home we compliment each other . Donít fight got ur rights n my rights , work together n see how allah blesses such a couple .

    U reached so far reading my lecture lol
    May Allah bless each and everyone. sisters who have it tough , pray tahajud n make dua . Allah wonít leave or forget his servants. My special duas to all my brothers. May you stand up as a man n do justice to ur wife look after her cause woman are beautiful fragile creatures. Love ❤️ het respect what she does for u brother . There is no life without a wife. To all mums n wifeís ur all special .
    Show love n respect and thatís what u get .


  2. #2

  3. #3
    Administrator Nanima's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posters response

    “Where are the men of the Ummah “
    So did I open up a can of worms n got many upset for what said or u all just jealous.

    Before making such statements and saying I am a terror husband and jumping into conclusions, U need to get a few facts or better two sides of a story .

    Some say why I don’t get a maid ? Let me tell you that my wife’s father was gunned down in their farm shop n he was shot. As a result he passed away. Allah bless him with the highest stages in jannah. This was a inside job , the guys where arrested . This resulted in my wife a fear of having a helper . Besides that . Do u know that when Hazrath Fathima wanted a maid , a servant to help her . Did Nabi saw give her a servant ???? No he told to her read the tasbee and Allah will make her tasks easy for her .
    If tomorrow my wife say she wants a maid , I’d be happy to get one but she refuses , why all u lazy ladies jumping ????
    It’s my wifes duty to cook but hazrath Fathima use do chores and knead flour ? Did Hazrath Ali pay the queen of jannah for serving him ???
    Allhumdulillah allah has provided a dishwasher . Which makes it a easy for her.

    My wife is not my servant or maid . Just because she cooks n cleans does not make her my servant . There are so many hardworking woman who everyday happily do their chores n cook , n clean n dust ?????? Are their husbands terrors?????? Are these woman slaves ??????? Doing household chores does not make one a maid or a servant . U ladies don’t clean your homes ????? When your maid don’t come , u don’t clean the toilets ???? Don’t u clean the sinks???????? Or do u tell your husbands to do it . Or do your husbands pay u to do chores when helper does not come ?

    Let me tell u working ladies , my hats out n respect to all those woman who don’t have maids , sees to their children , cooking cleaning wiping windows etc doing chores n making a house a home . Their reward is nothing but jannah.

    Another point which my wife laughed so hard was that i pay my wife in Gifts n holidays etc for all that she does . What a load of crap �� Why are u jealous ??????? Don’t u receive gifts from your husband????? So why can’t I give gifts to my jaanu �� . Why can’t I take her on holidays ???? If taking her on holidays makes her happy than that’s what I will do .

    Such lame comments ?? One poster said if my wife gets to rest ??? The whole day that’s what she and my mom do . They stay their kitchen work after fajar, now before u lazy ladies say u need ur beauty sleep . To start the day early brings in barakhaa and nobody forces them to do it . Gosh I need to clear everything or u will jump down my throat��. Mil n dil are happily cooking and baking in the morning . No I leave for work at 6 , I don’t sleep lol
    The afternoons they all are free n relaxing . My wife home schools on flexible times . Every Weekends the kitchen is closed . Mil is out to visiting my siblings and we as a family have our time out . Or her family comes for the weekend.
    My wife is my responsibility. She depends on me cause that’s the command of Allah that I should provide , so I do n I am not complaining.if I die than what happens to her ?????? Is that the end of her rozi?
    Does Allah die ??
    How foolish u career minded woman are !!!

    Career career and money u ladies are gold�� diggers !!! U want your husbands to dance to ur tunes , clean house n cook with u . Man doesn’t like to be treated like a woman but here these are not men but bylaws. Ladies feel they work , come home cook , they did wonders ? They are super woman �� now .

    The prophet saw enjoyed quality time with family too but when it came to deen , and the commanding the good and forbidding wrong he would be serious . Of course with respect n wisdom that’s so obvious!!!

    My wife afraid of me �� eish u all make such stupid comments. Just so ridiculous!!!!

    Men if you come home from a stressful day and have to help your wife cooking n looking after the kids . If u are happy and ur wife is happy .... so let it be . If u like to carry handbags �� in the shopping malls helping your wifes, so do it .
    And woman u want to work cause if your husband dies or he divorces you u got something to fall on , go work , I am not stopping you . Whatever you feel makes your house a home feel free and do it .

    To my darling wife , my Raani ❤️ My jaanu❤️u reading this and enjoying the laugh ��. U are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me . May Allah keep our love ❤️ and understanding n increase in whatever good he has blessed our marriage with .
    This is our life Allhumdulillah and in today’s time I am so grateful for what Allah has blessed us with.
    Fairytale marriages do exist and I am living proof of it ❤️

  4. #4
    Mo Bhamjee

    Ur a lucky man

    I agree with this brother 100% . My wife doesnít like me helping in kitchen. She says I give her more work 😂 I am banned from the kitchen. Just now I will see the end of the rolling pin .

  5. #5
    A career woman


    Now this is a real man. ( although I am guilty of everything you said) I do need my husbands help in the house... with 3 small kids and a job I don't cope. But my ideal life would be to be his responsibility and to raise my kids at home and be a good housewife. Inshaaallah pray that I get to have this life. May Allah always keep you happy

  6. #6
    I wear the pants

    Yes I give her allowance

    A lady said I donít give my wife an allowance? What makes u think that sumaiya Jinna????

    Do I have to mention everything that I do for her on fb???? I said gifts n holidays cause thatís what she looks forward to more than cash . U think Iím going to take my family on holiday without giving her money to spend ???? Maybe your husband does not give u monthly allowance, so u assume all men do that ???? Get this idea out .... off your head that woman who donít work , stay at home mums, their husbands donít give them allowance .Thatís crap ****!!!

    To clear the air , my wife gets a monthly allowance n she is free to spend as n how she wishes. Iím not bound to tell u whatís her bank balances are n how n where we invest .

    Stop 🛑 assuming!!!!!

  7. #7
    I wear the pants
    Quote Originally Posted by A career woman View Post
    Now this is a real man. ( although I am guilty of everything you said) I do need my husbands help in the house... with 3 small kids and a job I don't cope. But my ideal life would be to be his responsibility and to raise my kids at home and be a good housewife. Inshaaallah pray that I get to have this life. May Allah always keep you happy
    Sister I understand, itís not easy n u expect him to help out . Some men just not meant to be in kitchen. Try and work around your situation. But no matter what your situation is n how hard your husband is , always n always love ❤️ n respect him n keep up with duas .
    Allah will open his eyes n bless u with a dream life . Iím not good in giving advice but from a mans side lol انشاء الله

  8. #8

    i agree with you poster

    i agree with you poster. i live a similar way and alhamdulilah going on 11 years of marriage this year. not everyone understands this way of life and thinking, but its truly a happy one. may Allah grant u barakah and happiness and increase the love between you both.

  9. #9
    I wear the pants

    Iím banned from doing chores

    Nanima my wonít let me do anything ? So what must I do ???

    One guy said I must pick up my jockeys? Who said I leave them around the bedroom floor ? He does maybe ? Now heís helping cleaning up after himself ??? And calls that helping his wife ??? Ridiculous

    Is garden work helping with chores ?
    Is cleaning the garage chores?
    Is washing the car with the kids chores ?
    Is watering the garden a chores??
    Than I am doing 👆🏽 All that lol

    Common everyday cleanliness is not a chore !
    Like putting shoes together ,
    Putting washing in the basket
    Closing lid on toothpaste
    Your wives have to tell u to be clean n do simple things like that ??? And you call it helping your wives ?????????? Chores


  10. #10
    Bibi Ruqayyah

    Seek guidance.

    Please brother, sit on your musallah tonight and ask yourself whether you wanted to post because you had an opinion, or because the lives of others anger you so much that you wanted to put them down.

    Because you are entitled to the first one, but you must accept the criticism that comes your way.
    Side note: If it's an opinion, why remain anonymous? If you are so staunch about it, say it proudly and accept the criticism that comes with it. Otherwise, it's just cowardly.
    And if it's the second one, make taubah because that sort of anger will eat away at you.

    Now, let's validate your opinion for a second and give you the right to have it.
    And you are allowed to have an opinion, but you will not attempt to shame others in the process, and you are entitled to the consequences of your opinion, especially since it so harshly attacks others.

    You ask where the real men are.
    They're probably avoiding you, because of the judgments you make, to be completely honest.
    You are the company that you keep, so if you do not know any real men, you're probably not one either.

    Anyway, what is a real man?
    To my knowledge, it is one who is anatomically considered to be of the male gender.
    But let's discuss this from your point of view.

    You claim that real men 'wear the pants' of the relationship.
    I did not realise that mopping or sweeping emasculated any man? In fact, I think it makes them even manlier because THEY ARE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND THOSE AROUND THEM.
    You think caring for others is just about making money for them? It's not.

    The 'real men'?
    They pick up after themselves and others, because they are not filthy, and because they are conscious of the fact that Allah SWT is watching.
    Imagine Allah SWT seeing you not lift a finger while your wife AND MOTHER slave around the clock.
    Speaking of which, why is your mother working in the kitchen since after Fajr? Where is your respect for her? Or do you forget her rights over you and your responsibilities towards her, because you think that as a woman, she 'should be in the kitchen?' Please, before you speak any further, observe whether what you speak is Sunnah or cultural misogyny.

    You say your wife 'does not allow you to help'.
    I do not honestly know how to handle that one, because do you need to be formally invited to take care of your home?
    You seem intent on insisting that you do not help because she does not 'let you'.
    My brother, consider this a formal invitation to help her out around the house.

    You say that it is a woman's duty to obey her husband.
    MashaAllah, yes it is.
    And subhanAllah, you have such a loving and wonderful wife.
    You on the other hand, are a nightmare.
    To think that you consider yourself a Muslim and yet cherry-pick Sunnahs and Fatwahs to support your own toxic beliefs, while ignoring the many others that you should have observed before posting this.

    Allah SWT has, in His infinite wisdom, blessed women to be able to bear children.
    He has made women knowledgeable (Look at stories of the female sahaaba and the unending extent of their thirst for knowledge)
    He has said that Jannat lies beneath the feet of a mother.
    And you dare disrespect these very same women by creating an entire post criticising women for their choices and for how they choose to live their lives, like it's any of your business?
    You dare insult them by calling those who choose a career path, 'gold diggers'? (which is a completely incorrect term for a career woman, but let's ignore that)

    I know of MANY women who work full time and still come home and take care of their kids and clean their houses and 'MAKE THEIR HOUSES A HOME', and I think it's despicable that you would call them 'gold diggers' or say that they are disobeying Allah.
    These women deserve to be commended. The men who help these women take care of their home and their children together, also deserve to be commended.
    The women who choose to stay at home and take care of the home and their children also deserve to be commended.
    Do you know who doesn't deserve to be commended?
    Men who make rash and broad judgments and use religion to hide their misogyny and toxic cultural infiltration. Also, men who take away the power of choice from their and other women and hide behind a cloak of anonymity to make such judgments.

    Make sincere taubah and seek education, brother.
    Seek guidance.

    Ya Allah SWT.
    You have spoken with such perceived knowledge of the Prophet SAW and his Sahaaba that please ask yourself this.
    Did the Prophet SAW denounce women who work, or claim that they are disobeying Allah SWT? Did the Prophet SAW ever demean a woman by calling her a 'gold digger' for seeking a career? Nauzubillah, please do not insult Khadija RA with your insolence and cherry-picked faux wisdom. Would you call her a gold-digger??
    Would the Prophet SAW, in his wisdom, condone how you chose to handle a matter such as this?
    Would he condone your vile words, your condescension and your judgment?
    You seem so concerned with what other people are doing, would he condone this?
    Personally, I do not think so.
    But if you do, then continue.

    You seem to have a need to validate your marriage and I think that's sad. Strangers on the internet are under no obligation to validate your experiences, agree with you or take your abuse.

    If your marriage works for you, then MashaAllah. Allah SWT has blessed you.
    But do not for one second think that gives you a right to judge and condemn others.
    Do not think that just because your situation works, that you have a right to criticise others for being different.

    May Allah SWT guide you and continue to bless your marriage, and may He grant you the wisdom to stay out of the lives of other people.

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