In laws are driving me MAD.. undermining my authority as a mom
My MIL looks after my baby during the day.. needless to say she is stepping over the boundaries.. crossing the line.. undermining my authority as a parent and basically doing as she please with my child.. Another story for another day.. we are looking for a reliable nanny though.
However, when we go to family gatherings.. I am ignored as my child's mother by everyone else.. If there's anything that is related to my child.. the extended family asks my MIL.. Like e.g. can she eat that apple? while in my presence.. I am totally dismissed
This is one of the many situations.. How do I handle this? I don't want to come across as rude or insecure.. but I want to make my point firm.. I am the mother.. Anything related to my child HAS to come pass me.
Like e;g; they will give her crisps without asking me if it's ok. (she is 10months old) Some will ask MIL. or MIL will say to others, give her this or it's ok for her to do that..
The only way I can think of not being in a situation like this is to avoid the family gatherings or just show my face for an hour then leave..
It breaks my heart that I am undermined as a mother.... and I feel humiliated.
Any advice on how to handle this situation will be much appreciated.
Thanks
mum in law undermining authority
Slmz sister,as much as I understand your frustration,I think u looking at the situation in the wrong light.You should be very grateful that you have your mum in law looking after your child, it is firstly in your childs best interest,as the love shown to her by her grandparent can't be compared to being looked after by a nanny.If your mum in law is happy looking after her and u happy with the way baby's being looked after, then leave baby in her care, after all she raised your husband didn't she?With regard to her undermining u maybe tell her in a nice respectful way that you are very grateful that she is looking after your baby however this is your first child and u would like to set rules and if she could respect that u would be most grateful,get hubby to back u. When it comes to family just ignore,and if they direct questions to her you answer and let them know that u do know about what's best for baby,it may come across as u being opinionated at first but they'll get the message.Don't let that upset u,as I doubt u have to see them often, don't feel humilaited at the end of the day u doing your best for your little girl,and I'm sure if u could have looked after her yourself u would have