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  • 22-11-2012, 10:55 PM
    Unregistered

    confused

    Slmz. Please don't rush out of your marriage.make duaa and go for counselling,those issues that you have described are all petty issues .If you love your husband stay and try and work things out.Sometimes our problems seem so huge because its in our head, but when we speak to someone it suddenly seems like there is a solution .many a woman has been through this situation, inshallah things will get better. Someone once told me to swear the person in your head (it worked for me)and to be patient.الله knows best what he has in store for us.think seriously about divorce over small stuff
  • 22-11-2012, 08:23 PM
    Unregistered

    Hang in there

    Salaams sister, I have been in a very simialr situation to you. Both my mother in law and husband's sister are very dominating women and my husband couldn't see that. The sister in law married to his older brother is treated like a queen, because she dares not go against them. Unfortunately it is not in my nature to be walked over, and they couldn't accept that.

    In my 7 years of marriage, I have been slandered and belittled behind my back. Yet I could not do a thing, we would have horrible fights if I said anything against his family. They brainwashed him to the point where he hardly spent any time with me.

    But through الله's grace, I found out a year ago that his mother was trying to break the marriage completely, despite me having a daughter with him. Alhumdulillah, he realised the extent of their hatred for me, and has since kept his distance, although he does his duties to his parents, he doesn't allow them to badmouth me. I myself have not seen them in a year because I was devastated when hearing the truth and can't move past the fact that Muslim women can be so nasty. I can't tell you what a huge turn for the better my marriage has taken,before it was on the rocks MANY times. Yes, it took a long time, but الله answered my duaas, and my husband is more loving than he's ever been.

    I don't think you should be hasty and want to walk out. Rather sit on your Musallah and ask your Creator to help you through your problems and instil Muhabbat between you and your in laws. Secondly, try marital counselling, it worked wonders for us, because the counsellor can explain to him where he is wrong, so you can avoid getting into heated arguments.

    Marriage is NOT easy, it can take years to build a solid foundation. But when you finally do إنشاء الله , it will be well worth it! Be strong, you can get there if you both communicate.
  • 22-11-2012, 05:25 PM
    Unregistered
    السَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُم وَرَحْمَةُ اللَّهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ
    When I first married I use to have the same problem.I still do so much for my inlaws n they treat me badly. Yet for the sake of my husband n now my children I still live with them, still tolerate their insults n abuse. I have walked out several times but came back cos I love my husband. I strongly believe that Allah will make them see the evil doings of their ways n إن شاء الله they will stop. Just hang in there if u want ur marriage to continue stay strong. إن شاء الله things will become easier for u..make dua. Don't give up cos of them.. Instead ask ur hub if maybe u can move out on ur own if not try to get ur parents or an elder to speak to ur hub.. Don't give up hope!!
  • 22-11-2012, 03:55 PM
    Unregistered
    Speak to ur hubby or get elders to intervene, I was at the point where I wanted to leave my spouse but gave him 1 more chance n Alhamdulillah so far things are working out, dont give out without 1 last try. Communication is v important sumx difficult, talk to a fam member n let them spk to ur hubby if he is not taking note of ur requests and feelings....

    May Allah guide you
  • 22-11-2012, 12:26 PM
    Unregistered

    confused

    Slmz. I'm married now for 7 months. Its been 7 months of hell! My husband and I fight all the time. My sister in law doesn't speak to me at all for no reason and she fones my husband constantly to ask where we are and what are we doing. My in laws treat my other sister in law like a queen, becos she sucks up to them so much. Yet I do so much for them. I'm tired of being in this unhappy situation. I want to read istighaara, but I'm not even sure that's allowed for divorce. I love my husband a lot, but its becoming unbearable. My in laws still think my husband is a child and they baby him so much yet his 33 years old. My other sister in law gets away with so much. She doesn't have to attend family functions or anything and yet they're so good to her. I'm on the verge of walking out becos I can't speak to my husband about any of this. He doesn't want to listen. I need to know, is istighaarah allowed for divorce?

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