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  • 20-01-2018, 12:11 AM
    Winners queen

    Sumaiya jinnah

    Happy for you both, but the reason your post irritated me so much was because u were bringing other men and women down for not living like you , my hubby helps out all the time with every little thing, he is not a bylaw as u say, I am a stay at home mum and run a small business from home, career women are not bad wives, and your whole post was very condescending, I wish u all the best in your marraige, Alhamdulillah u have reached 7 yrs, may u see more, InshaAllah, next week InshaAllah I will be married for 19yrs, Almighty accept!
  • 19-01-2018, 09:05 PM
    Sweety

    Love this post totally sister

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Allahu Akbar my husband is so humble like honestly , it makes it seem that he just comes from work enjoys dinner and relaxes . I am indeed the most luckiest woman on earth to have a man that wears the pants .
    He sees to the bills , he sees to his parents and younger sister , he has a business to see to , n the list goes on ..... no I donít want my husband in the kitchen and doing household chores.
    Thank you !!

    Why I do what I do ???
    If you love somebody than naturally one will go out of their way to do anything and everything for them . Iím sure your wife goes the extra mile to make you feel special everyday n vice verse .

    So much of nonsense was said regarding his first post about me be afraid of him , I donít get a chance to rest cause I slave the whole day for him , I donít get an allowance , why he donít get a maid etc so much has been taken out off context .
    I am not oppressed lol I know my rights as a Muslim wife but I donít demand my rights , he fulfills it and more . I know I donít have to cook for him , I donít have to make roti and bake something special for him . Marriage is not about demanding n fighting over rights .

    A woman can turn the home into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. I choose to make my marital home a palace with love and harmony. There are sacrifices on both sides no doubt , thereís ups and downs and thereís a solution to every problem .

    Doing little things for your man brings a smile to his face . small act of happiness has such an effect that it refreshes the man's tired spirits. Some women may think that such behaviour is crazy or I am forced , Like if wants a spoon , he will say ďplease get me a spoonĒ some ladies get irritated. Why canít he just do it himself . What a lazy man . Lol I would give that spoon with a smile.
    There are times when the food is salty or I over cooked the rice , or the days when I just donít want to cook . Hubby never complains , he just eats whatever I make without a fuss. I can give him left overs and he would eat it . He overlooks so much of my wrongs ( Iím no saint ) whatís there if I do a little for him.
    We are there for each other in good and bad times .

    Lol which woman donít like to receive gifts from their beloved . He knows I work hard , this is his way of showing appreciation .

    I donít have to answer to anybody for my lifestyle shukar . I am so happily married Allhumdulillah. I love my life .

    I am sure every man would want his wife to treats him well , respects n spoils him and pampers him. Every man will want his wife to treat him like a king .

    'The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence'."

    'A woman who respects her husband and does not harass him, will be fortunate and prosperous.

    A woman asked the Prophet (S) of Allah: 'What good (reward) is awaiting a woman who performs her duties in her husband's house?' The Prophet (S) stated: 'For every activity that she does concerning the household matters, Allah looks on her kindly, and whoever enjoys the grace of Allah would not be tormented'."
    I am a career woman and do not let my husband to chores either . Man has an ego... let them keep that , itís what makes a man a man .

    I cook after fajar so when we come home the food is ready . I have three little ones and itís not difficult to balance out chores the hubby the kids . Woman with maids still cannot cope and drags their husbands in the kitchen .
    Hubby does the outside work . Garden cleaning , etc and he does all the handyman things around the home .
    Some men I know donít like to do chores but do it any way . Donít tell me the hadith of doing chores is sunnah ...... than if your man wants to take another wife that is sunnah too 😂
  • 19-01-2018, 08:46 PM
    I wear the pants

    Hot air

    [QUOTE=B. Rukie;12564]Please brother, sit on your musallah tonight and ask yourself whether you wanted to post because you had an opinion, or because the lives of others anger you so much that you wanted to put them down.

    Because you are entitled to the first one, but you must accept the criticism that comes your way.
    Side note: If it's an opinion, why remain anonymous? If you are so staunch about it, say it proudly and accept the criticism that comes with it. Otherwise, it's just cowardly.
    And if it's the second one, make taubah because that sort of anger will eat away at you.

    Now, let's validate your opinion for a second and give you the right to have it.
    And you are allowed to have an opinion, but you will not attempt to shame others in the process, and you are entitled to the consequences of your opinion, especially since it so harshly attacks others.

    You ask where the real men are.
    They're probably avoiding you, because of the judgments you make, to be completely honest.
    You are the company that you keep, so if you do not know any real men, you're probably not one either.

    Anyway, what is a real man?
    To my knowledge, it is one who is anatomically considered to be of the male gender.
    But let's discuss this from your point of view.

    You claim that real men 'wear the pants' of the relationship.
    I did not realise that mopping or sweeping emasculated any man? In fact, I think it makes them even manlier because THEY ARE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND THOSE AROUND THEM.
    You think caring for others is just about making money for them? It's not.

    The 'real men'?
    They pick up after themselves and others, because they are not filthy, and because they are conscious of the fact that Allah is watching.
    Imagine Allah seeing you not lift a finger while your wife AND MOTHER slave around the clock.
    Speaking of which, why is your mother working in the kitchen since after Fajr? Where is your respect for her? Or do you forget her rights over you and your responsibilities towards her, because you think that as a woman, she 'should be in the kitchen?' Please, before you speak any further, observe whether what you speak is Sunnah or misogyny.

    You say your wife 'does not allow you to help'.
    I do not honestly know how to handle that one, because do you need to be formally invited to take care of your home?
    You seem intent on insisting that you do not help because she does not 'let you'.
    My brother, consider this a formal invitation to help her out around the house.

    Secondly, you say that it is a woman's duty to obey her husband.
    MashaAllah, yes it is. And subhanAllah, you have such a loving and wonderful wife.
    You on the other hand, are a nightmare.
    To think that you consider yourself a Muslim and yet cherrypick Sunnahs and Fatwahs to support your own toxic beliefs, while ignoring the many others that you should have observes before posting this.


    Allah SWT has, in his infinite wisdom, blessed women to bear children.
    He has made women knowledgeable (Look at stories of the female sahaaba and the unending extent of their thirst for knowledge)
    He has said that Jannat lies beneath the feet of a mother.
    And you dare disrespect these very same women by creating an entire post criticising women for their choices and for how they choose to live their lives?
    You dare insult them by calling those who choose a career path 'gold diggers'? (which is a completely incorrect term for a career woman, but let's ignore that)

    I know of MANY women who work full time and still come home and take care of their kids and clean their houses and 'MAKE THEIR HOUSES A HOME', and I think it's despicable that you would call them 'gold diggers' or say that they are disobeying Allah.
    Nauzubillah.
    These women deserve to be commended. The men who help these women take care of their home and their children together, also deserve to be commended.
    The women who choose to stay at home and take care of the home and their children also deserve to be commended.
    Do you know who doesn't deserve to be commended?
    Men who make rash and broad judgments and use religion to hide their misogyny and toxic cultural infiltration. Also, men who take away the power of choice from their and other women and hide behind a cloak of anonymity to make such judgments.

    Make sincere taubah and seek education, brother.
    Seek guidance.

    Ya Allah.
    You have spoken with such perceived knowledge of the Prophet and his Sahaaba that please ask yourself this.
    Did the Prophet denounce women who work? Did the Prophet ever demean a woman by calling her a 'gold digger' for seeking a career? Nauzubillah, please do not insult Khadija RA with your insolence and cherry-picked faux wisdom. Would you call her a gold-digger??
    Would the Prophet, in his wisdom, condone how you chose to handle a matter such as this?
    Would he condone your vile words, your condescension and your judgment?
    You seem so concerned with what other people are doing, would he condone this?
    Personally, I do not think so.
    But if you do, then continue.

    You seem to have a need to validate your marriage and I think that's sad. Strangers on the Internet are under no obligation to validate your experiences, agree with you or take your abuse.

    If your marriage works for you, then MashaAllah. Allah has blessed you.
    But do not for one second think that gives you a right to judge and condemn others.
    Do not think that just because your situation works, that you have a right to criticise others for being different.

    May Allah guide you and continue to bless your marriage, and grant you wisdom to stop making judgments about other people


    .....

    I really have absolutely no time to reply to foolish n childish comments .

    💨
  • 19-01-2018, 04:22 PM
    Unregistered

    Donít judge ... thatís so lame

    Please brother, sit on your musallah tonight and ask yourself whether you wanted to post because you had an opinion, or because the lives of others anger you so much that you wanted to put them down.

    Because you are entitled to the first one, but you must accept the criticism that comes your way.
    Side note: If it's an opinion, why remain anonymous? If you are so staunch about it, say it proudly and accept the criticism that comes with it. Otherwise, it's just cowardly.
    And if it's the second one, make taubah because that sort of anger will eat away at you.

    Now, let's validate your opinion for a second and give you the right to have it.
    And you are allowed to have an opinion, but you will not attempt to shame others in the process, and you are entitled to the consequences of your opinion, especially since it so harshly attacks others.

    You ask where the real men are.
    They're probably avoiding you, because of the judgments you make, to be completely honest.
    You are the company that you keep, so if you do not know any real men, you're probably not one either.

    Anyway, what is a real man?
    To my knowledge, it is one who is anatomically considered to be of the male gender.
    But let's discuss this from your point of view.

    You claim that real men 'wear the pants' of the relationship.
    I did not realise that mopping or sweeping emasculated any man? In fact, I think it makes them even manlier because THEY ARE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND THOSE AROUND THEM.
    You think caring for others is just about making money for them? It's not.

    The 'real men'?
    They pick up after themselves and others, because they are not filthy, and because they are conscious of the fact that Allah is watching.
    Imagine Allah seeing you not lift a finger while your wife AND MOTHER slave around the clock.
    Speaking of which, why is your mother working in the kitchen since after Fajr? Where is your respect for her? Or do you forget her rights over you and your responsibilities towards her, because you think that as a woman, she 'should be in the kitchen?' Please, before you speak any further, observe whether what you speak is Sunnah or misogyny.

    You say your wife 'does not allow you to help'.
    I do not honestly know how to handle that one, because do you need to be formally invited to take care of your home?
    You seem intent on insisting that you do not help because she does not 'let you'.
    My brother, consider this a formal invitation to help her out around the house.

    Secondly, you say that it is a woman's duty to obey her husband.
    MashaAllah, yes it is. And subhanAllah, you have such a loving and wonderful wife.
    You on the other hand, are a nightmare.
    To think that you consider yourself a Muslim and yet cherrypick Sunnahs and Fatwahs to support your own toxic beliefs, while ignoring the many others that you should have observes before posting this.


    Allah SWT has, in his infinite wisdom, blessed women to bear children.
    He has made women knowledgeable (Look at stories of the female sahaaba and the unending extent of their thirst for knowledge)
    He has said that Jannat lies beneath the feet of a mother.
    And you dare disrespect these very same women by creating an entire post criticising women for their choices and for how they choose to live their lives?
    You dare insult them by calling those who choose a career path 'gold diggers'? (which is a completely incorrect term for a career woman, but let's ignore that)

    I know of MANY women who work full time and still come home and take care of their kids and clean their houses and 'MAKE THEIR HOUSES A HOME', and I think it's despicable that you would call them 'gold diggers' or say that they are disobeying Allah.
    Nauzubillah.
    These women deserve to be commended. The men who help these women take care of their home and their children together, also deserve to be commended.
    The women who choose to stay at home and take care of the home and their children also deserve to be commended.
    Do you know who doesn't deserve to be commended?
    Men who make rash and broad judgments and use religion to hide their misogyny and toxic cultural infiltration. Also, men who take away the power of choice from their and other women and hide behind a cloak of anonymity to make such judgments.

    Make sincere taubah and seek education, brother.
    Seek guidance.

    Ya Allah.
    You have spoken with such perceived knowledge of the Prophet and his Sahaaba that please ask yourself this.
    Did the Prophet denounce women who work? Did the Prophet ever demean a woman by calling her a 'gold digger' for seeking a career? Nauzubillah, please do not insult Khadija RA with your insolence and cherry-picked faux wisdom. Would you call her a gold-digger??
    Would the Prophet, in his wisdom, condone how you chose to handle a matter such as this?
    Would he condone your vile words, your condescension and your judgment?
    You seem so concerned with what other people are doing, would he condone this?
    Personally, I do not think so.
    But if you do, then continue.

    You seem to have a need to validate your marriage and I think that's sad. Strangers on the Internet are under no obligation to validate your experiences, agree with you or take your abuse.

    If your marriage works for you, then MashaAllah. Allah has blessed you.
    But do not for one second think that gives you a right to judge and condemn others.
    Do not think that just because your situation works, that you have a right to criticise others for being different.

    May Allah guide you and continue to bless your marriage, and grant you wisdom to stop making judgments about other people.[/QUOTE]


    I didnít even read this whole post such lame points .

    Just about his mum after fajar cooking , my wife cooks early cause she goes to work . my mum also cooks early cause she goes with my dad to the shop . Is that slavery????
  • 19-01-2018, 04:02 PM
    Unregistered

    Petticoat government

    Quote Originally Posted by I wear the pants View Post
    Nanima my wonít let me do anything ? So what must I do ???

    One guy said I must pick up my jockeys? Who said I leave them around the bedroom floor ? He does maybe ? Now heís helping cleaning up after himself ??? And calls that helping his wife ??? Ridiculous

    Is garden work helping with chores ?
    Is cleaning the garage chores?
    Is washing the car with the kids chores ?
    Is watering the garden a chores??
    Than I am doing 👆🏽 All that lol

    Common everyday cleanliness is not a chore !
    Like putting shoes together ,
    Putting washing in the basket
    Closing lid on toothpaste
    Your wives have to tell u to be clean n do simple things like that ??? And you call it helping your wives ?????????? Chores
    😂😂😂😂

    eish
    U lucky bru ,

    Men wonít admit it . Some woman got their men by the balls 🏈 and they repeat every kak they say . Just like a male poster who selectively picked out bits of ur post to cry about . What f &&$&&6£Ä nonsense , typical petticoat government.
    Just check how when the vrou calls they expression changes n immediately leave . Bull balls!!!!
  • 19-01-2018, 03:45 PM
    Salmah

    sister

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Allahu Akbar my husband is so humble like honestly , it makes it seem that he just comes from work enjoys dinner and relaxes . I am indeed the most luckiest woman on earth to have a man that wears the pants .
    He sees to the bills , he sees to his parents and younger sister , he has a business to see to , n the list goes on ..... no I donít want my husband in the kitchen and doing household chores.
    Thank you !!

    Why I do what I do ???
    If you love somebody than naturally one will go out of their way to do anything and everything for them . Iím sure your wife goes the extra mile to make you feel special everyday n vice verse .

    So much of nonsense was said regarding his first post about me be afraid of him , I donít get a chance to rest cause I slave the whole day for him , I donít get an allowance , why he donít get a maid etc so much has been taken out off context .
    I am not oppressed lol I know my rights as a Muslim wife but I donít demand my rights , he fulfills it and more . I know I donít have to cook for him , I donít have to make roti and bake something special for him . Marriage is not about demanding n fighting over rights .

    A woman can turn the home into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. I choose to make my marital home a palace with love and harmony. There are sacrifices on both sides no doubt , thereís ups and downs and thereís a solution to every problem .

    Doing little things for your man brings a smile to his face . small act of happiness has such an effect that it refreshes the man's tired spirits. Some women may think that such behaviour is crazy or I am forced , Like if wants a spoon , he will say ďplease get me a spoonĒ some ladies get irritated. Why canít he just do it himself . What a lazy man . Lol I would give that spoon with a smile.
    There are times when the food is salty or I over cooked the rice , or the days when I just donít want to cook . Hubby never complains , he just eats whatever I make without a fuss. I can give him left overs and he would eat it . He overlooks so much of my wrongs ( Iím no saint ) whatís there if I do a little for him.
    We are there for each other in good and bad times .

    Lol which woman donít like to receive gifts from their beloved . He knows I work hard , this is his way of showing appreciation .

    I donít have to answer to anybody for my lifestyle shukar . I am so happily married Allhumdulillah. I love my life .

    I am sure every man would want his wife to treats him well , respects n spoils him and pampers him. Every man will want his wife to treat him like a king .

    'The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence'."

    'A woman who respects her husband and does not harass him, will be fortunate and prosperous.

    A woman asked the Prophet (S) of Allah: 'What good (reward) is awaiting a woman who performs her duties in her husband's house?' The Prophet (S) stated: 'For every activity that she does concerning the household matters, Allah looks on her kindly, and whoever enjoys the grace of Allah would not be tormented'."
    Allah bless you and your family . U summed it all so beautifully.
    I also go the extra mile for my husband . This bring more love in the marriage .

    Ignore the nasty comments made against your husband . Some people are just jealous cause they donít have what you guys have .
  • 19-01-2018, 02:53 PM
    Unregistered

    The wife

    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Poster can you please ask your wife to give us her point of view regarding all this. It would be interesting to see her side and why she does what she does

    Allahu Akbar my husband is so humble like honestly , it makes it seem that he just comes from work enjoys dinner and relaxes . I am indeed the most luckiest woman on earth to have a man that wears the pants .
    He sees to the bills , he sees to his parents and younger sister , he has a business to see to , n the list goes on ..... no I donít want my husband in the kitchen and doing household chores.
    Thank you !!

    Why I do what I do ???
    If you love somebody than naturally one will go out of their way to do anything and everything for them . Iím sure your wife goes the extra mile to make you feel special everyday n vice verse .

    So much of nonsense was said regarding his first post about me be afraid of him , I donít get a chance to rest cause I slave the whole day for him , I donít get an allowance , why he donít get a maid etc so much has been taken out off context .
    I am not oppressed lol I know my rights as a Muslim wife but I donít demand my rights , he fulfills it and more . I know I donít have to cook for him , I donít have to make roti and bake something special for him . Marriage is not about demanding n fighting over rights .

    A woman can turn the home into a lofty paradise or a burning hell. I choose to make my marital home a palace with love and harmony. There are sacrifices on both sides no doubt , thereís ups and downs and thereís a solution to every problem .

    Doing little things for your man brings a smile to his face . small act of happiness has such an effect that it refreshes the man's tired spirits. Some women may think that such behaviour is crazy or I am forced , Like if wants a spoon , he will say ďplease get me a spoonĒ some ladies get irritated. Why canít he just do it himself . What a lazy man . Lol I would give that spoon with a smile.
    There are times when the food is salty or I over cooked the rice , or the days when I just donít want to cook . Hubby never complains , he just eats whatever I make without a fuss. I can give him left overs and he would eat it . He overlooks so much of my wrongs ( Iím no saint ) whatís there if I do a little for him.
    We are there for each other in good and bad times .

    Lol which woman donít like to receive gifts from their beloved . He knows I work hard , this is his way of showing appreciation .

    I donít have to answer to anybody for my lifestyle shukar . I am so happily married Allhumdulillah. I love my life .

    I am sure every man would want his wife to treats him well , respects n spoils him and pampers him. Every man will want his wife to treat him like a king .

    'The greatest gain for a man is a faithful woman who, when she sees him, becomes happy and protects his property and her own honor in his absence'."

    'A woman who respects her husband and does not harass him, will be fortunate and prosperous.

    A woman asked the Prophet (S) of Allah: 'What good (reward) is awaiting a woman who performs her duties in her husband's house?' The Prophet (S) stated: 'For every activity that she does concerning the household matters, Allah looks on her kindly, and whoever enjoys the grace of Allah would not be tormented'."
  • 19-01-2018, 12:37 PM
    Unregistered
    that is soooo beautiful. May Allah grant u all the barakaah and happiness in your marriage.
  • 19-01-2018, 10:27 AM
    B. Rukie

    Do not judge

    Please brother, sit on your musallah tonight and ask yourself whether you wanted to post because you had an opinion, or because the lives of others anger you so much that you wanted to put them down.

    Because you are entitled to the first one, but you must accept the criticism that comes your way.
    Side note: If it's an opinion, why remain anonymous? If you are so staunch about it, say it proudly and accept the criticism that comes with it. Otherwise, it's just cowardly.
    And if it's the second one, make taubah because that sort of anger will eat away at you.

    Now, let's validate your opinion for a second and give you the right to have it.
    And you are allowed to have an opinion, but you will not attempt to shame others in the process, and you are entitled to the consequences of your opinion, especially since it so harshly attacks others.

    You ask where the real men are.
    They're probably avoiding you, because of the judgments you make, to be completely honest.
    You are the company that you keep, so if you do not know any real men, you're probably not one either.

    Anyway, what is a real man?
    To my knowledge, it is one who is anatomically considered to be of the male gender.
    But let's discuss this from your point of view.

    You claim that real men 'wear the pants' of the relationship.
    I did not realise that mopping or sweeping emasculated any man? In fact, I think it makes them even manlier because THEY ARE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES AND THOSE AROUND THEM.
    You think caring for others is just about making money for them? It's not.

    The 'real men'?
    They pick up after themselves and others, because they are not filthy, and because they are conscious of the fact that Allah is watching.
    Imagine Allah seeing you not lift a finger while your wife AND MOTHER slave around the clock.
    Speaking of which, why is your mother working in the kitchen since after Fajr? Where is your respect for her? Or do you forget her rights over you and your responsibilities towards her, because you think that as a woman, she 'should be in the kitchen?' Please, before you speak any further, observe whether what you speak is Sunnah or misogyny.

    You say your wife 'does not allow you to help'.
    I do not honestly know how to handle that one, because do you need to be formally invited to take care of your home?
    You seem intent on insisting that you do not help because she does not 'let you'.
    My brother, consider this a formal invitation to help her out around the house.

    Secondly, you say that it is a woman's duty to obey her husband.
    MashaAllah, yes it is. And subhanAllah, you have such a loving and wonderful wife.
    You on the other hand, are a nightmare.
    To think that you consider yourself a Muslim and yet cherrypick Sunnahs and Fatwahs to support your own toxic beliefs, while ignoring the many others that you should have observes before posting this.


    Allah SWT has, in his infinite wisdom, blessed women to bear children.
    He has made women knowledgeable (Look at stories of the female sahaaba and the unending extent of their thirst for knowledge)
    He has said that Jannat lies beneath the feet of a mother.
    And you dare disrespect these very same women by creating an entire post criticising women for their choices and for how they choose to live their lives?
    You dare insult them by calling those who choose a career path 'gold diggers'? (which is a completely incorrect term for a career woman, but let's ignore that)

    I know of MANY women who work full time and still come home and take care of their kids and clean their houses and 'MAKE THEIR HOUSES A HOME', and I think it's despicable that you would call them 'gold diggers' or say that they are disobeying Allah.
    Nauzubillah.
    These women deserve to be commended. The men who help these women take care of their home and their children together, also deserve to be commended.
    The women who choose to stay at home and take care of the home and their children also deserve to be commended.
    Do you know who doesn't deserve to be commended?
    Men who make rash and broad judgments and use religion to hide their misogyny and toxic cultural infiltration. Also, men who take away the power of choice from their and other women and hide behind a cloak of anonymity to make such judgments.

    Make sincere taubah and seek education, brother.
    Seek guidance.

    Ya Allah.
    You have spoken with such perceived knowledge of the Prophet and his Sahaaba that please ask yourself this.
    Did the Prophet denounce women who work? Did the Prophet ever demean a woman by calling her a 'gold digger' for seeking a career? Nauzubillah, please do not insult Khadija RA with your insolence and cherry-picked faux wisdom. Would you call her a gold-digger??
    Would the Prophet, in his wisdom, condone how you chose to handle a matter such as this?
    Would he condone your vile words, your condescension and your judgment?
    You seem so concerned with what other people are doing, would he condone this?
    Personally, I do not think so.
    But if you do, then continue.

    You seem to have a need to validate your marriage and I think that's sad. Strangers on the Internet are under no obligation to validate your experiences, agree with you or take your abuse.

    If your marriage works for you, then MashaAllah. Allah has blessed you.
    But do not for one second think that gives you a right to judge and condemn others.
    Do not think that just because your situation works, that you have a right to criticise others for being different.

    May Allah guide you and continue to bless your marriage, and grant you wisdom to stop making judgments about other people.
  • 19-01-2018, 10:23 AM
    Unregistered

    Wife

    Pls ask your wife to tell us her side
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