View Full Version : Need help and advice. heartbroken

29-11-2012, 12:28 PM
aslm. I would like some advice please. Im married for almost a year now n the 6th month of my marriage i caught my husband chatting to a white girl. For a little while i had my suspicions but brushed it off as shaytaan trying to interfere, as he was very secretive with his phone and would hide it away or keep it with him all the time, he'd get upset and fight for his phone if i had to touch it.
1 night my suspicions had gotten the better of me, when he fell asleep and so i took his phone and went through his chats. And there i found him speaking to a white girl. The worse part is that they had fairly sexual conversations. He wanted to have 'fun' I was heartbroken, a piece of me died! We were so happy, he treated me so well and told me he loves me every day all the time. I don't know what went wrong.
I wanted to wake him up but i knew he had work the next day and didnt wanna bother him, i actually did try but he was too deep in a sleep and so i left him. I then went to sleep in the other room, i cried myself sick until i eventually fell asleep at 2 am. Even then i had nightmares.
Just before fajr i knocked my phone and it made a loud sound (wooden flooring) n that woke my husband up. he came to look for me when he realized i wasn't in bed and nor in the bathroom.
He apologized over and over, said it was a mistake and he doesn't know why he did that and that he never will again. He was crying. I was broken.

After a few days i managed to get back to normal, but there are days when I break down.
He says he knows he hurt me and he never wanted to do that, he cant explain why he did what he did. He says he tries all the time to show me how much he loves me and he knows that i dont trust him anymore n that he will keep on trying to win my trust back
I love him alot and i want to get past this as i do somehow believe that he won't do that again, how do i move on? How do i start trusting again? has any1 been in a similar situation? can any1 explain why he could've done this to me?

young muslimah
29-11-2012, 06:45 PM

His a guy, some guys get tempted really easy because of all the hormones and get carried away.
But he apologised and cried about it which showed he cares about you alot, just give it time and alhumdulila your marriage will get better.
Just remember thats like a test in marriage, a small boulder blocking the road, you will overcome it inshallah

05-12-2012, 06:57 PM
Slmz I had a similar problem in my marriage.after I found messages on my hubby's phone I confronted him about it.he too cried and apologised then a few years later repeated the same thing that time I asked for a divorce.shukr I have been married for 7 years now and the only one helping me with my marriage is Allah.make lots of duaa and communicate with him also try reading sallatul isthikhaarah for some guidance.may Allah help you and guide you inshaallah ameen

07-12-2012, 02:47 PM
I've been in this situation twice. The first time was just a call to a s x line. I was heartbroken but overcame it. Second time was a full blown affair with his friend. All you have to do is have faith in Allah. Keep on reading and making dua. Everytime you start thinking of it read aoozu until you forget about it. That really helped me. It will take you time, but إن شاء الله you will overcome it. If you seek guidance from Allah, this will make ur marriage stronger, إن شاء الله ameen. Read surah dhur as well.

19-12-2012, 07:31 PM
Shukran 2 u 4 postin this,i was also in a similar situation nd gt ova it cz my husband neva had a fne,nw he does nd its getin 2 me,we fyt all da tym cz of my insecurities bt i tink i wil take the advice given