View Full Version : worried about intimacy

28-10-2013, 12:58 PM
Slmz. Before I give out my issue I'd like to say iv been dating this decent girl for about 3 years and of course its time for nikkah.

How ever. In our 3 years we were never intimate. The most we have done is hold hands etc. Her dressing is extremely moderate. I'm talking 1980s old lady type. Yes I have tried to bring up the subject but she is insistent that that's only for marriage. She also is very bland about the topic. She's like oh I'll juz do my duty as a wife. Now that's pretty knocking out the enthusiasm out of me.

I'm just bracing myself because towards our nikkah iv just lost this sense of lust and desire towards her now.

I really do love her a lot but it seems I'm destined for a prude of a wife lol.

Any advise on how to handle or on what to expect will be appreciated.

28-10-2013, 01:20 PM
Cross that bridge when it comes.

Appreciate her for who she is. You may seem to be crossing her boundaries of self respect.

19-12-2013, 01:53 PM
First of I want to say well done to both of you for keeping it clean! Its not easy in this day and age and do not doubt that Allah will reward you both with barakat in your marriage for achieving this إنشاء اللّهُ .
Now you mention that your fiancee is very modest - perhaps she feels that discussing these matters is something that should be reserved for once you are married. I don't think it necessarily means that she's not interested in intimicay - it may mean that she is truly reserving that side of herself for your wedding night. You may be pleasantly surprised at her enthusiasm once your nikah is performed.
My suggestion would be to plan a very romantic wedding night - rose petals and the works. Make her feel loved and special. Compliment her on her beauty and her body. You will be amazed at her response. Every woman wants to feel loved and adored. Try this with sincerity and إنشاء اللّهُ you will have all the intimicy you are desiring.

01-09-2014, 06:04 PM
Haha are you serious?!