View Full Version : Why is it So Difficult for in Laws to Love their Daughter in Law as their Own?

26-09-2013, 02:30 PM
Slmz all.. I'd really like to know why is it so difficult for in laws to love daughters in law as their own. I mean I really try my best with my in laws. I respect them and let them do what they wud like with my daughter even though certain things I may not be happy with. I fulfill al my kitchen duties etc.. When we can we give them gifts. My husband and I are financially unstable and my in laws help us here and there. but I will never ask for a R1 extra we ony take what we need for our baba nothing more even though we may need basic household groceries or what we never ask for it. When I can and sumtimes have extra money I buy gifts for them, undermining my own desires and needs. I try my best but its never enough. My in laws have no love and respect for me. When I try to address them with certain issues, they snub me off sayin I'm fighting and then they don't speak to me. My sil insults me calling me moody and immature. My mil doesn't even have the decency to speak to me when they phone to greet. When we visit them, I make salaam to both my sil and mil but my mil doesn't reply until I greet her separately. Even when I speak to her, she ignores me while I am stil speaking and wil start talking to others in the middle of my conversation. When we meet they only interested in my daughter, and just give greet me and that's it. My in laws don't even ask us how we managing and howz things our side financially.. My mil doesn't even attempt to show love care and concern for me and speak to me with love and kindness asking me how are things at home, how are we managing etc.. They don't even compliment on bringing up their grandchild so well. Even when my baba got hurt, my mil or sil didn't even ask me how she is doing etc. They don't even compliment me on my cooking and if I make anythin nice. I feel so uncomfortable and like I'm in an environment where there is no love and care or concern for me. What shud I do? How can this change, because no matter how many times I have tried speaking to them about it, I just get snubbed off by them that I am bad and I just want to fight etc. They not even willing to acknowedge or accept their faults. There is so much more I can get into, but I will leave it at this. What can I do to change things? Or shud I just keep away, coz in the end its only me who gets hurt everytime.

30-09-2013, 10:13 AM
Salaam sister.. I hear ur pain and understand what u going thru. Unfortunately my wife and I expereinced same problems, and due to that we divorced. May allah make it easy for u and open the hearts of ur in laws to learn to love, respect and appreciate u. Today girls don't want anything to do with the in laws but its so nice to see someone who wants to have loving relationship with them. I make dua to allah for u and that allah grant them hidayah. May u not succumb to to the same fate as mine. Make sabr and duas