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View Full Version : So frustrated and feel alone



Unregistered
28-06-2013, 02:49 PM
SLM all
just need to vent a little

My husband has no time for me. When he comes home from work he will sit infront of the TV, our little girl will want to be by him and he will "watch" her while finish with the food, bottles etc. But he just let he play on the floor while he watches TV, she even fell of the bed once while he was right there watching tv.
we hardly ever have time alone since the i had my child, even before that the minute we at home on the weekends then his sisters kids come over, or his sister or something. I always have to nag for him to spend time alone with me and even then he wont he say much. There is no intimacy between us anymore and when we do have a little time alone he has some excuse , he is too tired, not feeling well, too stressed out etc. once in a blue moon he gives in but then too its like there is no connection there.
I work full time and leave really early and come back half n hour before him, but im expected to cook and everything everyday. when i dont cook he will buy something to eat but he be moody with me for 2 days.

Im always trying to make things better, i buy him gifts and make things specially for him even when im feeling sick but dont get a hug even. he will never hug me or kiss me, he will only do it if i ask him wheres my hug n kiss. i feel so lonely. when i try to talk to him about it he says nothing is wrong and i overeact to everything.
he will never just buy something for me because he thinks I might like it, or just to spoil me. but he buys himself lots of things all the time. I pay for all my own things because i work but once in a while it would be nice to be spoilt and taken care of or be wanted at least. Even when we go shopping he will show me something nice but i have to buy it for myself but he earns much more than me. when i go shopping he will take what he needs and i pay for it. HE does pay for the house expenses , electricy,bond and groceries. but that too he will complain when i take too much stuff, or he will make sarcastic remarks like " are you done or do i need get you another trolly"

He keeps saying he wants another child but he never makes the effort or the time. does he never take my feeling into consideration. I am a successful and independant person yet i cry almost every day, and feel alone and unloved.

maaf for the long post

Unregistered
17-07-2013, 09:58 AM
I really feel for u sister..u need to sit down and speak to him about the way u feel..sometimes men aren't like us women..dey tak everything for granted..maybe he doesn't even know about the way u feeling therefore hes acting the way he does..communication is key in any relationship..I'm married for 5 years this year and we hav a daughter and we had lots of ups and downs but shukar it took me very long to realize that we have to talk about the way u feel otherwise u will never be heard..after reading ur post i make shukar for my hubby..I fight with him about wanting to be with me all the time,,straight after he gets back from work,,calls me 24/7,,worries about me all day,where am goin,whether we safe etc..may allah give u the strength n let this not tear apart ur marriage..but atleast try communicating..insha allah that will help..as for being romantic?l will leave that for anyone else to help or with whatever else u can do to get ur huby paying more attention or a wake up call..men nly realize what dey had till its gone..n den its too late..dnt let ur marriage go that far..tc be strong

Unregistered
17-07-2013, 10:58 AM
SLM all
just need to vent a little

My husband has no time for me. When he comes home from work he will sit infront of the TV, our little girl will want to be by him and he will "watch" her while finish with the food, bottles etc. But he just let he play on the floor while he watches TV, she even fell of the bed once while he was right there watching tv.
we hardly ever have time alone since the i had my child, even before that the minute we at home on the weekends then his sisters kids come over, or his sister or something. I always have to nag for him to spend time alone with me and even then he wont he say much. There is no intimacy between us anymore and when we do have a little time alone he has some excuse , he is too tired, not feeling well, too stressed out etc. once in a blue moon he gives in but then too its like there is no connection there.
I work full time and leave really early and come back half n hour before him, but im expected to cook and everything everyday. when i dont cook he will buy something to eat but he be moody with me for 2 days.

Im always trying to make things better, i buy him gifts and make things specially for him even when im feeling sick but dont get a hug even. he will never hug me or kiss me, he will only do it if i ask him wheres my hug n kiss. i feel so lonely. when i try to talk to him about it he says nothing is wrong and i overeact to everything.
he will never just buy something for me because he thinks I might like it, or just to spoil me. but he buys himself lots of things all the time. I pay for all my own things because i work but once in a while it would be nice to be spoilt and taken care of or be wanted at least. Even when we go shopping he will show me something nice but i have to buy it for myself but he earns much more than me. when i go shopping he will take what he needs and i pay for it. HE does pay for the house expenses , electricy,bond and groceries. but that too he will complain when i take too much stuff, or he will make sarcastic remarks like " are you done or do i need get you another trolly"

He keeps saying he wants another child but he never makes the effort or the time. does he never take my feeling into consideration. I am a successful and independant person yet i cry almost every day, and feel alone and unloved.

maaf for the long post


I agree with the other poster, u need to talk to him, u shouldn't feel alone in a marriage...

labs
17-07-2013, 12:06 PM
I smell a case of feeling pity on yourself.sister you can't mope about this .you got to put your foot down .its nomore dear can we have date nite it should be like dear I want date night.how do you think our grandmothers of the older generation managed to run a family while having husbands with huge egos.they were tough as nails.be tough but not nasty and show him the love you want demand it and he will wake up off that chair so quickly

Unregistered
17-07-2013, 04:32 PM
Totally agree labs..lol

Unregistered
24-07-2013, 02:27 PM
Labs, I have a similar problem, please can you tell me how to demand it. I am very meek and soft spoken.

Would really love you to please elaborate on your advice.