Heartless Husband

[Nanima]

nanima please help, I'm married for a few months....All I can say is my husband is so heartless (sob)never asks me how I am? Even if he knows I'm not well....neva praises my food bt I serve hm proper meals all the tym....neva compliments me on my dressing yet daily I dress up 4 hm...Never sms es or foon me when he leaves town for the day or maybe more yet I'll foon n he will drop my call or neva reply to my sms es!!! Through All ths every morning I get up with a smile if only he looked in my eyes he wud see me hurting.sadly I'm totally in love with ths man that I try n see pass hs faults!

[TempuraG]

Why are you 'totally in love' with this man? What has he done to earn your love and respect?

Nobody loves a martyr. If you sit there pining over him with sad eyes trying to get him to love you, he's not going to suddenly notice and care. He is going to continue to take advantage of you because you let him.

My advice to you is: Be somebody or be somebody's fool.

The first thing I would do is make him realise that quite frankly he is disrespecting you. But don't do this alone. I would speak to your parents or siblings if you have a strong relationship with them (in confidence, you don't need to tell him you did this). I would sit him down and say the following: "I have noticed that I put a lot of effort into this marriage. I try very hard to make our home comfortable to you, to feed you, to look nice for you. I respect and admire you for the work you do and I would like your appreciation and respect for what I do. I would also like you to communicate with me during the day. I am going to spend 2 weeks with my family and in that time I would like you to think about what you want out of this marriage and I will do the same.' Then go.

In terms of communicating, are you calling him a million times a day? If you are, let go.

Finally, get some of your own interests. Meet other women, educate yourself. This man is not your life. You don't need his praise for your food or appearance to be validated. Respect yourself and you will earn the respect of others.

[Unregistered]

Remember, you don't NEED a husband or wife to make your happy. YOU need to make YOU happy. Be happy with yourself first, irrespective of who he is, what he does, and how he treats you. Be the best person YOU can be, someone that YOU will love and adore, irrespective of EVERYTHING else in this world.

Get this right, and then work on the relationship between the 2 of you. My wife treated me in a similar manner, though not as severe, and doing some Googling, I came across some good advice and articles on the internet.

Happiness is in your OWN hands. Not others.

[Unregistered]

sadly some men are like that...
i feel for you poser, as you say that you are only married for a few months
maybe he feels smothered by you, since hes not used to having some1 check up on him, its a big change for guys as well when they get married

all i can say is that you should sit him down and talk to him.. dont fight or get upset, just calmly talk to him, tell him how you feel, whats bothering you, and you feel the way you do because you love him and that you will appreciate it if he showed some appreciation to you.

be open with him and dont hold back, and tell him that you are always there for him and he should also open up

if he doesnt change afterwards then im afraid that he is indeed a heartless man

all the best, hope everything goes well