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View Full Version : confused about love. PLEASE HELP!!



Unregistered
03-09-2012, 10:52 AM
Hey plz can u post this as anonymous. I'm wondering if some1 can help me answer or rather understand this. I've been married for a few months and ever since then I've always tried my best to show my hubby how much I love him. Even if it were by ways of messaging, sending him letters, phonin n tellin him, or even showin him. I'm confused as a newly wed, that my husband tells me that he jus can't express his feelings towards me and mentions that its also hard for him to express his love to his parents. I really cnt understand this as I'm so madly in love with him but he cnt show it. However the point I'm tryna say is that what does every1 think? And how important is it to express ones feelings to their spouse. Coz as the days pass I feel like my love is getting more complicated and I'm findin it hard to understand. Plz help me jazakallaah.

Nanima
03-09-2012, 03:45 PM
maybe the two of you need to take the love language test and make more of effort to show each other love in the language you need.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

although u might be a touchy, feely, huggy person, your husband doesn't seem to be that type and may be showing you love in a different way.. understand each others languages and share with each other and make more efforts to show each other love in the other language..

Unregistered
03-09-2012, 03:58 PM
I was in the same situation as u, n its sad to say that all its lead to is me being so frustrated towards my husband becoz it feels as if I go out of my way to b affectionate towards him n he jus doesn't care, I used to buy gifts for him n try n do special things for the 2 of us, bt all he wants is to run after his mother n sisters. I actually have given up

Unregistered
03-09-2012, 05:04 PM
Its so sad that so many of us feel that way.... I buy my hubby things just out of the blue but I don't get the same in return. His friends n work come first its so annoying but he refuses to listen or take time just to make me feel special, its always been his way or no way.......

Unregistered
03-09-2012, 10:05 PM
OMG its sounds like u in more of a dilemma then me. I feel that's very selfish of ur hubby! Honestly speaking a relationship is based on both spouses giving and taking, not jus 1 giving and the other taking.plz all married people shuld undastand this, n may Allah guide each and every1 of us by looking @ the beloved example of Nabi(SAW) who was the most affectionate to his wives. Remem to always make دُعاء for ur spouse, and keep on loving them and ask Allah to keep on strenghtening the ignition of love between spouses who are confused. All we can do is keep on trying our best and Allah will do the rest. Let's stay firm beloved sisters!:)

Unregistered
05-09-2012, 05:01 AM
Donít be overly loving to get more love and attention cause thatís not how it works. love is a give and take thing, ( but we only give and take what we want)
It is not the more you give the more you get... for some people its the opposite and he is not an overly loving openly type you will suffocate and smother him with your love, causing the opposite reaction, which is for him to keep his feelings hidden.
You need to calm yourself down ...your husband is fine we call it an emotional retard in the uk and its very common in men . to some people your words are just words and love is just nonexistent.----these people need to be shown more love and it needs to be deep and meaningful otherwise itís just a bit of fun (with out using the L words so often it becomes a second name for them).only use the L words when you really emotional and in front of him.
some people take time to fall in love and really appreciated each other ..you need to find other ways of expressing your love and you need him to make the first move and say the romantic stuff first and you got to force this habit on to him and if wont be easy.
Donít give up on your love... love is not about words and gifts love is about so much more and you need to explore this further...
Give your words and gifts a rest cause psychology has proven time and time again that you do this cause this is what you want... you want words and gifts to prove your love..they actually donít prove anything and is some cases it is guilt from a man having an affair so actually your man is kind of normal.......for men sometimes loves true emotions cant be put in to words men donít want to be seen weak and at the mercy of a woman so hide their emotions and have different ways of loving and appreciating there partners... you got to stop being so needy its not healthy for you...it can destroy your marriage , leave you unsatisfied, sad or depressed or even feel your in a loveless marriage when you husband adores you.... the truth is television and media have portrayed love to be something thatís its not .. not getting text or gifts proves nothing and will only give you grief you need to get away from this teenage nonsense and mature up a bit ...think of your mom and dad if that helps they love eachother but are non glued to eachother all the time...