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Unregistered
24-08-2012, 06:58 PM
Slms Nani,

I am in a terrible crisis and my life is blown into a disaster!!!My maid has told me a few weeks ago that she is suspicious of my sister and my husband!!!I trust my maid alot.She has been loyal and has worked a long time for me, so I did investigate silently! After doing my homework I have found sms, and numerous calls from his cellphone! My husband has admitted but my own blood has not and is making me an ass!!!She is flirting and openly banging my husband thinking that he has not told me!!!They go to hotels during work hours. I don't know what to do??I have made a decision to leave my marriage of 3 years but how can I ever forget!!I would appeciate alot of advice on how to deal with this painful revelation!!!It is sick!!!!!They are shaythaan

JIA

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 09:52 AM
My advice is if your sister is guilty, and your husband by admission has therefore made her guilty, then u confront her. If however she is still not open to coming clean then for the sake of your deen consult an aalim in your area to seek advice. May Allah grant you sabr and coming from a brother, your husband needs an advice of an aalim too.
Regards

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 09:52 AM
Get out now. You will never be able to trust him again. Your sister is just as guilty.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 09:54 AM
Slm as far as i know in a case where a husband sleeps with th wife's sister th wife and him R out of nikaah,pls confirm ...may Allah make it easy for U and its so difficult cos of th betrayal from a sibling more then ur husband

hana
25-08-2012, 09:59 AM
Salaams sister...I am so sorry for your pain, these are the things we think only exisit in soapies and books. My Allah (SWT) make it easy for you. Your betrayal is two-fold...having a cheating husband is bad enough but with your sister as the 'other women', its even worse, so your pain and anger is going to be huge! Is there not a hadith that says something to this affect "a brother in law is like death for u", meaning 1s bil is not mahram,and utmost parda shud be maintained coz a casual relationship between the two can cause to much troble. Give yourself time to heal, get over your anger and move on, it may take long, but someday all this will be a bad tasting memory! May Allah(SWT) make it easy for you, Ameen.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 10:00 AM
slms....

i stand to be corrected....i think your nikah is broken with your husband....

please get a fatwa asap from your mufti....

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 10:04 AM
In Islam, to be married islamically to two sisters at the same time is prohibited.

So you can imagine the severity and seriousness of the action that the 2 people, whom you mentioned above, are committing.



May you be guided and be given the strength and courage in taking the right decision.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 10:19 AM
Sister, all I can say right now is.. Do sabr.. Don't over react, don't get aggressive, don't get violent.. just connect with Allah s.w.t... Wait for Allah to take decisions for you! Just take good care of your health physically and mentally.. I know its easy to say.. But dear sis, with Allah s.w.t on your side you are the winner and not the loser!

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 10:38 AM
Salaams sister.
May Allah give you strength and sabr to deal with this heartache and bring you closer to Him. The biggest issue here,as mentioned by others, is that you have to consult a mufti ASAP. As far as I know too, your nikah with your husband is no longer valid, infact it broke the moment he first touched your sister.Soo please don't have relations with him and if you haavent yet, tell your family.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 10:41 AM
Slmz. Although I don't think this is an issolated case , it still is very shocking to here of this type of behaviour in our society. It shows to what level that morality within our society has stooped to. May Allah guide us ! As brothers and sisters in Islam , it is our duty to actively oppose such actions and really start showing these type of people that we will not tolerate their actions as it seriously affects the image of our beautiful deen. So to those of you who like to state ' its my business ' , ITS NOT! It affects us all.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 11:13 AM
Sister as far as Ĩ knw is dat if ur husband even touches ur sister ur nikah is null αη∂ void n ų r living in sin. Ples contect ur local alim or go 2 jaimat. Αη∂ save urself frm sin now. May اللَّهُ mke it easy 4 ų.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 11:18 AM
slms....

i stand to be corrected....i think your nikah is broken with your husband....

please get a fatwa asap from your mufti....

Gee it is . Her nikah is NOT VALID.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 12:13 PM
Lesson for all you other women out there,your husband is not mahram for your sister.If you allow their "friendships" to continue,hanky panky is going to/already happened.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 12:46 PM
Slmz, sister, I understand what u r going through it is a very difficult time, discovering that ur husband has been unfaithful to u, pls do sabr, Allah is on your side, Allah only gives problems to those who he loves, and knows that they can deal with it. This is a test from Allah. When u are ready, forgive your husband, though u will never be able to forget, fight for ur man. Eventually, he will realise that you saved him from the punishment of the grave, and love u more for it, as for your sister, forget her, she is jealous of you.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 01:59 PM
Slm sister. So sorry, I can't imagine the pain you are going through. As far as I know- nikah may no longer be valid. Please confirm with a mufti.

That said, leave. There is no resolving this. You may never trust him again, and you are worth MORE. There are men out there who are better. Do not stay thinking that there is no one out there who will love you or marry you. Allah will take care of you. I hope you can find the strength. Usually I never advise divorce, but this is sad and not something you should tolerate. All the best.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 03:00 PM
1.Getting out of the marriage will bring peace of mind and heart. It will definitely lessen the psychological burden.2. By forgiving them you will st yourself free. Because if you don't, then you will be the prisoner.3. Don't be in a depressed mood try to be positive and you have a choice if you want to be happy of sad.4. Look at those who are less fortunate than you and this will make you appreciate what you got. Don't live in the past because you will spoil your present which will affect your future.5. Know that you not alone and Allah is always with you and He will punish them for their wrongdoings. You are only responsible for you actions. So make the best of whatever situation you are in.6. I hope this advice helps you and May Allah make it easy for you and grant you the strength to have a way better life

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 04:35 PM
Your nikah is already broken. Please don't have conjugal relations with him as this will be regarded as zina. Please email mufti AK [email protected] He will advise you as to how to deal with this. May Allah give you the strength.

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 04:35 PM
Slmz sister. Ur nikah is not broken. The reason 4 impermissibility of marrying 2 sisters at the same time is that no 2 sisters will marry u @ the same time. I do agree with the other posters turn to Allah, for Allah knows best and we knw not. As far as ur sister is concerned shame on her! May Allah punish her accordingly. As 4 ur husband u have 2 decide if ur gng 2 stay with him or leave him, whether he's gng 2 do this again or not and why he did it. In future I do hope that u follow the rules of islam and purdah more seriously, as ur hubby n sis must not have observed purdah with each other. Now u knw why Allah prohibits such things. Take heed and may Allah make it easy 4 u

Unregistered
25-08-2012, 08:31 PM
If im nt mistaken the nikaah is broken. Consult an Aalim ASAP

Nanima
25-08-2012, 08:55 PM
Please consult with a learned scholar regarding the status of your nikah. A believer does not get stung from the same hole twice. So if you leave this relationship, we won't blame you. It is a very difficult situation and I make sincere dua Allah make it easy for you. here is your chance to get closer to Allah. At the end of the day this whole life is immaterial. What we need to focus on is our relationship with Allah. Re evaluate your relationship with your creator. What ever you do, always think of HIM first. Will he approve will he disapprove. Wake up for tahajud, maybe start fasting more. Read and learn the Quran. What really helps is doing more good deeds. time to focus on your life.. everyone at the end of the day are accountable for their own actions.. Allah will judge them and deal with them.. this situation is not cut and dry.. also breaking family ties is a major sin.. but eish, i don't know about this situation.. ultimately and eventually you will have to forgive. Forgiveness is not a weakness, it empowers you and sets you free. You don't have to be best chomies with your sister and you don't have to ever see your husband again but forgive as the person above said, it will set you free..
Allah has decreed this and it has happened. Now to take 1 day at a time. QadaraAllahu masha Fa ail - Whatever Allah has decreed has happened. Allah is the best of the planners..

Unregistered
26-08-2012, 01:45 AM
Jazakallah, dear brothers and sisters for the strong words of encouragement during this difficult period! I remain positive and with the help of Allah. I will be comforted and healed! It is the reality which I have to accept!I turn to Allah to make it easy for me! My husband I will always love, but I choose to live a separate life now! As, for my sister she continues phoning and playing me like everything is ok!!!How could I look at her for the rest of my life? It will be a bad tasting memory that will never be forgotten!I would like to find out if I would commiting ghunnah if I shut her out of my life forevr? Sisters, out there what would you do if your sister placed u in this dilemma?

May Allah give us guidance, and keep us all on the straight path! Keep mi in your duas and may Allah make it easy for all of us! (Ameen)


Jazakallah Brothers and Sisters!

Nanima
26-08-2012, 07:26 AM
We do the worse of sins and Allah with his infinite mercy and grace forgives us. To break family ties is a major sin
Although you have to be civil with her you dont have to be her best chomie like nothing happened. A believer does not get bit by the same hole twice. Set your boundaries with her
tell her to give u space.

Nanima
26-08-2012, 07:36 AM
Sadatullah Khan will be in south africa soon. I highly recommend you attend this course. It will give u the skills to deal with this crisis inshaAllah www.nanima.co.za/2011/03/discover-yourself-by-sadatullah-khan/
also sister haifaa younis is in pretoria today and polokwane next week. Both these courses are life changing

Unregistered
26-08-2012, 10:46 AM
Slmz, sister, I understand what u r going through it is a very difficult time, discovering that ur husband has been unfaithful to u, pls do sabr, Allah is on your side, Allah only gives problems to those who he loves, and knows that they can deal with it. This is a test from Allah. When u are ready, forgive your husband, though u will never be able to forget, fight for ur man. Eventually, he will realise that you saved him from the punishment of the grave, and love u more for it, as for your sister, forget her, she is jealous of you.

Fight for a man with whom her Nikah is no longer valid? It shows how much it's abhorred even in
Islam! And what is there to fight for when he clearly has no regret and is continuing his evil acts!! It's not a game for the sister to win. Please give good advice.

Unregistered
29-08-2012, 10:06 AM
just a word to all on the forum, please if you have no islaamic knowledge on a matter please do not jump the gun and pull out fatwas from your back pocket!!

sister your nikaah is NOT broken, what your husband did is a major sin and is only zina, it is just a temporary hurma (haraam to marry) because your sister is haraam for him while married to you but she becomes halaal for him if/when you pass away

and Allaah knows best!