View Full Version : Marriage

23-08-2012, 03:13 PM

So where do I begin? I have been seeing this girl for about 5 years now, I met her in College and we just started to connect. I really like her and I can see a future for the two of us but there is only one problem.. I'm Muslim and she is christian.
Since we have been seeing each other for 5 years now, naturally the question of marriage came up. I don't know how to handle it, I do not want her to revert just for the sake of marrying me and I would never expect her to do that. I respect the christian religion and I myself was raised in a household where my two families were of different religions so I have learned to respect them equally but don't get me wrong I am Muslim. I don't know what to do.. I would like to make both of us happy by suggesting that we do a interfaith marriage where we incorporate both religions equally but how do we that? Where do we start? We have sort of agreed on the children growing up Muslim and schooling them in Christianity as well so that as with the marriage both of our religions form part of our lives. I know that this probably is not the right thing to do but in order for me to keep my future family happy and ensure that this doesn't become an issue in the future this is the only way to do it.
I would appreciate it if someone could offer me some advice on the matter.


24-08-2012, 08:51 AM
I really think you should consult a learned person regarding this. It has the potential to cause a lot of problems and this should be discussed with someone who knows and understands the deen. Good luck.

24-08-2012, 10:35 AM
please contact Mufti Menk - muftimenk@gmail.com to assist with this inshaAllah

25-08-2012, 01:23 PM
You already answered your own problem,so what is it u want people to tell u,u have decided to live in sin,u need to pose this Question to an Alim,as far as iam concerned u cannot get married interfaith

25-08-2012, 01:35 PM
Right now its very easy to say things wud b a certain way, bt believe me when the time comes, n ur inlaws family start doing things its not going to be as simple as u think!! Do things the ryt way n اللهُ will make it easy 4u. Do wat is right

25-08-2012, 01:58 PM
What does the girl say would she be prepared to change religions n learn the islaamic way? In todays time there are so many reverts n alhamdulillah they are learning about Islam n loving it. If she's not prepared to revert as yet In sha Allah one day she will.
May Allah grant u both hidaayat n help u both make the right decisions In sha Allah Aameen

25-08-2012, 04:27 PM
Slmz brother, u must understand that it is totally impermissible 2 marry a person 4rm another religion. Muslim men are allowed 2 marry people of the book meaning christians and jews, however it does not refer 2 the christians and jews or our time who follow distorted books, it refers 2 the christians and jews in the prophets time who followed the original bibal and torah, hence it is impermissible 2 marry her. What u must think about is the punishment that will await u, should u choose 2 lead an interfaith life. Ur nikah will not be valid and your children will be confused and choose the more lenient of religions. Will u allow alcohol, pork and haraam food into ur house 4 the sake of ur wife? Will u eat that food? Think nicely b4 u do such things. Either make her revert 2 islam or turn 2 Allah n ask 4 his forgiveness n 4get bout her. Remember we must strive 2 please our creator and this world is not our final abode. Think about the qabr and the aakirah

25-08-2012, 06:00 PM
U also have to consider if the marriage doesnt work where does it leave ur kids ,how would u feel ur kids being raised in a none muslim home,how would u control them going to madressa its so hars ,i would rather have her revert even if its for th sake of marriage now ,and then teach her what islam is all about she could become a good muslim

25-08-2012, 09:06 PM
Please think wisely.... Is that whar tou really want?
If he is prepared to convert to islam ,why push her away? Maybe her intentions arent correct now,insha allah allah grants u both hidaya and you both will realize islam is the best religion for both of you....
Being a muslim! Knowing islam is the only true religion! Why would u wang to bring up your kids down the wring path? U are preparing for their destruction.
If u both arent muslim and marry tgen theres no way!!!!
Islam or nothing...there cannot be negotiations

25-08-2012, 10:18 PM
Slm Brother,
I understand your predicament, having been a similar situation not too long ago. Its difficult trying to reconcile love, societal norms and islamic values. I don't doubt that you love this girl. However I would advise you to have a look at the seekers guidance website, a similar question was asked on the forum. Best of luck, this is not an easy decision. It affects you, her, your families and most importantly your children. What we do now also has consequences for our aakhirah. Please seek counsel not only from Aalims but from Allah swt as well. Read istikhara namaaz. May Allah swt guide you to what pleases him.

28-08-2012, 05:51 PM

i would like to commend all the above comments. u can here the sincerity in their words.
to the person asking the question, i hope u appreciate the advice these people have gave u, taking time out of their day to address ur issues.

firstly, to reiterate what was sed above, u cannot marry her unless she converts to islam.
u have been with her for 5years......in this time, have u not even considered showing her the way of islam?
introducing her to it? not to convert her, but to show her our way of life......
this is the probelm with muslims today, do not be afraid to share ur knowledge with ur gf and friends. u urself want to die a muslim,
so why would u deprive this girl whom u love and future kids of that? remember the afterlife is eternal......do not be selfish in ur decision.

from the beginning u should not have engaged in this relationship. i am not being judgemental, but now look at what situation u are sitting in......
if u want to marry her, she has to convert......and it has to be because she wants to and believes, not just for marriage sake.

there have been many people who have dated non muslims grls, married them, after the grl has converted.......and to this day they have lovely blessed lives......because they have brought someone willingly into the deen...

so do not despair.......however if she does not want to convert......u cannot marry her. maybe with time she will......but dont wait another 5years before u decide to tellin her about islam.

i have lots of friends who have embraced islam, love it, and are better muslims than myself even.
never ever compromise your faith for anyone.......and definitely not for love, that is the worst of things u can do.......

years from now ul regret it, and will have eternal consequences to bare...