View Full Version : Mother won't let go

06-08-2012, 11:34 AM
Salaams All

Ramadaan Mubarak and hope everyone is having a good month

I have an issue with my mother, ever since I got married, she is very possesive over me, she wants me to visit every turn I get and demands me to do things for her without allowing me to check if it is ok with my husband.

I fear for my marriage as it is affecting it already. I am the only daughter and have always done everything for her. We visit 2-3 times a week and eat there once a week and she sees me everyday at work.

She does not want to visit me at home as I live in a seperate entrance in my in laws home and this is "not my own place"

What do I do, I am so sick of the accusations she makes that I make more of my in laws than her. I have a busy life and she continues to want me to do things for her and she expects me to bring her this and that as we live nearby

Please help me and tell me if I am in the wrong, I fear that my marriage wont last long the way things are going


06-08-2012, 07:17 PM
Slmz sister speak to your husband tell him wats worrying u get your hubby to speak to mum and scare her a little. Or tell your mum how u feel and how it will affect your marraige

06-08-2012, 10:29 PM
You are so lucky to have ur mother around. You should tresure that before its too late and spend as much time with her as possible as jannat lies under her feet. Stop complaining cos it takes away from reward. Talk to husband I'm sure he'll understand. You have a. Duty to him as well. Good luck

06-08-2012, 11:15 PM
Maybe she is scared that you going to move on without her. She just wants to be apart of your life by making you do things for her and always needing you. You lucky my mother is alive but didn't want me I was raised by my granny who pasted away yrs ago. I dont know my mother. Sometimes I wish I had that relationship where I could go to her and ask for advice or when I need a shoulder to cry on. So appreciate your mom no matter what she asks of you cos there are so many ppl who don't have the privledge.

07-08-2012, 05:27 AM
Slms I think because u are an only child your mum feels abit lonely now that u married. Wen we get married we are so over whelmed with adjusting to our new home n different lifestyle u probably didn't even realise that u left an empty space in their hearts.I don't think your mother is intentionally doing this, its jus that some ppl are possesive n its difficult letting go. So mayb u shud speak to both your hubby n mum , let your mother know u love her and will always be there for her and point out that u do visit and that u miss her and wishes that she comes to visit u at home as well
And also tell her u also hav a duty towards hubby and in laws but reassure her that they can never replace wat she is to you. And explain to your husband how your mum feels and her behaviour. I'm sure insha allah there will be a way to work this through.

29-08-2012, 10:56 AM
I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been in the same boat and it hasn't gotten better. Yes, jannah lies under the feet of your mother, but when you get married your first responsibility is toward your husband. That is wot islam teaches us. BUT, that doesn't mean u should disregard your mother at all. You need to make her understand that u MUST get your husband permission to do anything that requires u to leave the house. Again, that's wot islam teaches us. I know its hard, but there just isn't an easy way out of this one. Good luck to u!!!