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Unregistered
05-08-2012, 09:34 PM
Salaams, my question is all those women who have married far far away from home,does it make you lonely,depressed? I am going to get engaged to some one who stays abroad. Just the thought of going so far is making me feel sick. How do you cope.

Unregistered
06-08-2012, 10:52 AM
Being overwhelmed by the thought of marriage is normal- there is so much to do and think about. But when adding the thought of moving away from all that you know it is acceptable to be 'scared'. To be honest it is difficult, you will miss home and the conveniences of the place that you grew up in and having family around especially when they having fun together- But staying on your own gives you an advantage- you and your spouse can connect and enjoy time together without outside commitments and stresses about going here every week and eating there etc. Plus you get to see and learn so much in a new place. Have a discussion about how often you will be visiting your families together and if you could sometimes go on your own for an extended stay to visit your family. It really helps to call, email, mms and skype them too and helps you feel more involved and less left out so to say. It is a big change and it will take time to adjust- but having a spouse who you can can talk to and will be your friend and family makes the whole adventure worth the moving to another place. Good Luck :)

Unregistered
06-08-2012, 10:57 AM
I also got married abroad, what i realised if that you have to make the most of the situation. You can't begin to compare or even look back otherwise you will never enjoy the place you are. people often ask me why i moved back to JHB when so many people are moving away, and i say you go where your heart takes you. they also ask how does it compare and i say you can't compare coz you are now making a new life for yourself and need to almost forget the old life to start the new 1. In my case luckily i have alot of family in JHB and try and make it a point to go back home atleast once a year. i can honestly say its all in the mind set.

Unregistered
06-08-2012, 11:06 AM
Slms...
Its normal to feel the way u do,even as time comes close u will feel depressed and lonely,just make lotsa dua,I too moved away from home to get married,its hard but u will get there,u will cry,be depressed,angry but have Sabr.and as long as ur partner is there 4u,u will get thru it.

Unregistered
08-08-2012, 11:03 AM
I find that keeping busy with interests, work, studying and general house stuff keeps me a bit occupied to not feel down about living thousands of km's away. When you miss your family -and it will happen- then I phone them a few hundred times a day just to find out what's the weather even. But with a supportive spouse it is a lot easier and much better. Invest in technology that will aid you in bridging the distance gap- like having skype or a phone- this really helps coz going to see them often might not always be an option. But try to enjoy your new life. Your family will always be there for you but now you have to make your own home- my mum says that she is always there but now we have to do own thing and when it's hard we can phone for support and help but first must turn to Allah especially when feeling sad and down because He knows best and can help the most . Also like one of the others said it does have advantages to being on your own somewhere else you and your spouse can grow together and learn together and he gets to be your friend and family all in one. All the best