View Full Version : confused

22-07-2012, 01:38 PM
I am in a confusing situation.I am a gal whuse come of age and my parents have suggested marriage.Now there's this guy who I know whose wants to marry me.he is a good person with good values,thing is he is an orphan who comes a very poor family and I am from a very well off family like am really spoilt.My parents have said its ok as the guy is good but am scared and confused will I be able to adjust in his life style.Has anybody been is a similar situation before?does the marriage work out?

22-07-2012, 01:49 PM
All you have to do is
1. read your istikharah and trust that Allah knows best
2. when looking for qualities to get married the main quality to look for is taqwa and piety.
3. reflect on the marriage of Khadija(RA) to the orphan Prophet Muhammad(SAW) - it worked out very well Khadija(RA) wealthiest woman in Makkah.

22-07-2012, 02:01 PM
Sister please don't do through with it. We are advised to marry somebody that can provide for us in a similar way that our fathers did. It will be the cause of endless problems

22-07-2012, 02:27 PM
Big differences in financial backgrounds can be a cause for later problems espacially if thw two if you As individuals don't know what kind of lifestyle you want to have..also you mentioned him adjusting,what about you? Unless the idea is that your parents are going to provide the luxuries for the both of you?what bout resentment later on? Or even how will you feel being married to someone that 'sponges' off your families wealth- it might change this 'good guy' as a person? Just some questions you should ask yourself:(

22-07-2012, 02:28 PM
My advise is if u starting to already doubt than rather abstain...... My bro married a wealthy girl, they had endless arguments n her norm was his luxury. It ended in divorce. She re married a wealthy man n is much happier. Irony is that as d years gone by my bro is now a exceptionally wealthy man! In d end Allah has his plans for everyone! Wealth comes from Allah!

22-07-2012, 02:37 PM
Slms I strongly suggest you contact the Jamiat regarding their pre-marital workshop where issues such as compatibility are vastly discussed. The workshop conducted is in relation and according to statistics from talaaq cases which are spiralling these days, so it is well planned and a brilliant workshop to put things like this into perpective. Pls know that finance n compatibility are major contributing factors to problems in a marriage. I wud like to add well done on being brave enough to admit you spoilt, instead of making excuses. Allah make it easy for you on this.

22-07-2012, 04:47 PM
If he is a good boy with good values from a good home and your parents have no objection, then marry him. Apart from the sawaab due to you for serving your husband you will also get sawaab for serving an orphan! And he will love you and your parents! All will work out fine, insha Allah. I can only make dua that when the time comes for my daughter to settle down she gets someone as nice.

22-07-2012, 07:15 PM
Slmz. I'm not going to tell u whether u should go through with it or not, but I can advise u that it won't be an easy situation. I come from a wealthy home n being married I now live with my inlaws. They are average n shukr my parents lived simply so I have been able to adjust. But some things are difficult to get used to, especially the things we take for granted. Like I have to think twice before I use a heater bcoz electricity is expensive. We have to think about the cost of petrol before we go anywhere. U will have to do without a lot of the luxuries u were used to. Its not an impossible situation, but just think it through properly.