View Full Version : Has anyone experienced estrangement from previously close family members like sibling

13-07-2012, 02:47 AM
I have a younger sister who, for unknown reasons has refused to talk to me for the past 10 years. Of course there were some disagreements, but nothing that most people do not get over and forgive. We were extremely close as children and teenagers. There is a year and a half difference between us. It seems like whenever I attempt to reconcile, she finds some little thing I say, reason to stop talking to me. Over the past ten years we have literally not spoken aside from a month three years ago when we very briefly became friends on FB. My daughter got married, and one day I will be a grandmother, her kids will get married and yet we will not speak. This seems so very crazy to me that I would like to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar, esp in our Indian Muslim community. Sometimes I am so ashamed of this that I don't know what to tell people!!

13-07-2012, 11:24 AM
Some people are just to wierd! I have an uncle who I was xtremly close to as a child...he literaly did EVERYTHING for us!when we use2g0 stay at my grandparents,we use to wake him up inda night to take us to the loo!...one day he woke up, married his shop assistant and never spoke to nebody inda family again! We went to his flat with gifts after his nikkah,he refused to let us in...we use to phone he use to say he dsnt wana talk to us...we went to the shop,he use to chase us! Nobody knows why or what happen! Its been 8years, we don't even know where he and his wife are...my granny crys everyday for him and makes dua he'll come back...but after 8years...we were kids when he left, now?I'm married, my sisters in matric...and my gran isn't getn younger!our lives hve moved on,he is a memory to us and we strangers to him! we've tried to trace him,bt he tells people he dsnt want to mke contact...I can only tell u to keep trying,to make dua and to get intervention! Sisters are joined bythe heart...Insha'Allah, Allah(SWT) will creat love, understanding and forgiveness between u, and reunite families every where!Ameen

13-07-2012, 12:15 PM
My sister and I never got along. Though it would be nice to have a sister in my life I think we're better off not speaking. She has too many issues.

13-07-2012, 01:01 PM
Slmz one aunt didn't speak to our family over 10 yrs. None of us knew why she just stopped speaking to us, at functions ignored us or just didn't come. In the 10 yrs we only saw her maybe twice. Then her husband passed away and we visited every day and as the visitors subsided things changed drastically. We became as close as ever like those 10 yrs never mattered or was not even thr. Make dua and Inshallah things will change. You just have to be patient.

14-07-2012, 05:25 PM
Aslm, its sad really cos I'm in a similiar situation with an aunt and a few cousins, for the life of me I have absolutely no idea wot happened and why we became astranged, I was living with them for a while wen I was seperated from my husband and I thought we were getting along just fine until 1 day my aunts whole attitude changed, she chased my kids away from their house and accused me of things I didn't do just because her daughters spread ugly gossip about me and now we don't worry at all, I see my cousins on eid bt we pretend to be civil infront of other family members , iv been racking my brains trying to think of wot I mayb did to have caused it bt it jus upsets me and I put it out of my mind, maybe 1day 1 of them wil tell me why their mother is so angry at me and why she chased my kids away like dogs! Bt for now I'm jus trying to live my life as peaceful and happy as I can, if I had to do it allover again I would definitely never have moved in by them even if it meant living on the street, maybe things would have been different

15-07-2012, 01:13 AM
Sounds abit sad,but sometimes I get upset with my sister also and I just don't feel like talking to her,which I don't for days and I guess she wonders what she must have done wrong.well I just prefer been quiet instead of holding a fight.

18-07-2012, 11:19 AM
Yes. My brother 8 years older than me suddenly stopped taking to the whole immediate family about 10 years ago for no apparent reason. No amount of talking to him about it or trying to get him help made a difference. He had a temper and just wanted to be left alone. Now he doesn't seem so angry but still zilch communication. I've given up, I guess the ball is in his court if he wants a change, our door is always open.

01-12-2012, 09:05 PM
Could be jealousy...... My bro n I always got along, he has a teenage daughter whose mum is deceased, she lives with us now n just causes unnecessary probs...... She goes away for holidays n my bro has a diff attitude but when she's around he has an irritable attitude towards me n doesn't spk to me