Will I get ever married?

[Soul searcher]

Nanima im a 29 yr old career girl and lately I've started to wonder if I made the right choices for me. Despite my choice to have a career I really want a family of my own and a husband with good akhlaaq and companionship but I've been told its too late. That along with immense pressure from family makes me feel like a failure. Men seem to be intimidated, aunties seem to think im too old and I've begun to lose hope in finding someone suitable who accepts me for who I am..are there any other girls out there like me? I have made so much dua but I'm losing faith as I get reminded timeously how i am such a worry to my parents..

[Unregistered]

I understand how you feel.I am also a career gal and have an amazing job and earn well,thing is I dnt have the looks and so every time a guy comes see me I get rejected because of my looks.so yeah aunties have tried introducing me to boys like talking over the phone and they seem interested and once they see me its boom,they dnt wana know me anymore.So ur not alone gal.

[Unregistered]

salaams to all....11 years ago i was in the same position as u are right now....most of my younger n older cousins had gotten/were in the process of getting married...they were not interested in completing school/pursuing further studies...i had graduated with a professional qualification....n here i was 28 n still single...
some family members never missed a chance to pass comments implying that i had been sitting on the shelf n so forth...
i could sense the anxiety of my parents as well...tym was indeed ticking n as everyone knows it waits for no-one...i was not too pleased with the proposals i had been receiving.....
in a bid to speed things along i joined a marriage bureau, hoping to meet a devout and decent muslim man,,,,2 weeks later i was introduced to some-one who SEEMED to have met my requirements for a husband,,,only the almighty knew his intentions at the tym,,,,but he persuaded my parents and me to go ahead with the nikah....things never felt right,,,,but i dismissed these thoughts,,,,thinking that if i reject this offer i may not meet another SEEMINGLY good man like him,,,,we hastily married after only 3 weeks of knowing each other,,,,...it proved to be the MOST disastrous move of my life...after 1 year of utter hell, i left, pregnant n scarred for life by this experience.....

my ex-nightmare,,,as i prefer to call him,,,had been divorced before i had met him....i was wife number 2,,,,at the tym of my pregnancy he was still married to me,,,,however he offered no financial/moral support....6 months into my pregnancy he married for the 3rd tym....that marriage lasted for a mere 6 months n a child was born there too...
he did not care to see/acknowledge/maintain my son....as the saying goes,,,,A LEOPARD DOESN'T CHANGE HIS SPOTS,,,,he married again for the 4th tym,,,that produced 2 boys as well n ended in utter heart-ache n tears!!!!....my ex-husband has scarred 4 woman for life and orphaned 4 innocent little boys in his life-time,,,,some-tyms i just wonder if marriage is really worth it,,,

i've cut my losses n moved on...albeit with terrible scars....i'm still single n happily so,,,,perhaps i had defied my creator n went ahead with something that HE felt i was not ready for...i thank god daily for my career,,,ironically had it not been for my studies where would i have been today???

from the tym we are born society places such pressure on us to conform n be people pleasers....yet when we cry we cry alone....
MORAL OF THIS STORY--,,,let people say what they want,,,,allah has planned your destiny,,,,as a servant of god u will have to let your destiny take it's course....
men who reject woman based on their looks are shallow n nt worth it....the hadith says,,,,A WIFE SHOULD BE CHOSEN NOT FOR HER BEAUTY BUT FOR HER PIETY,,,,at the end of the day looks fade but good character always prevails!!!....any intelligent islamically educated man would be aware of this!!!
as long as u live your life with dignity, n honour ,allah will surely reward u...and in his own tym bring sum-one who is truly worthy of u....
may allah give you sabr and courage,,,insha-allah,,,,ameen.

[Lubz]

Been there done that - thanks so much for your kind words and sharing your experience - Allah has surely given you strength.. I have a cousin who was in a similar situation and I tell my parents the same that I don't want to hastily accept the first proposal.. Allah does know best and I haven't stopped making dua..
To the first reply, I'm sure your beautiful and even more on the inside and I'm overweight and know what you battle with - however I believe the person who marries me sees the person I am and is attracted to that rather than aesthetics.. Insha Allah we will find our way...

[Unregistered]

slmz sisters

i am 28 and unmarried.......i also wish for husband and companion. have a career as well.......

to the poster, do not doubt your choices in life. sometimes we forget the reasons we chose to study, and if u go back in time, u will remember, that at 18years of age, that thought of meeting someone after studies or rather getting married after studies did cross ur mind, but u also knew the importance of education, so u went ahead an studied.

now when we are at that stage, it just feels like we never going to meet anyone, but we will inshAllah ameen.

Allah swt knows everyones concerns and will help all the single muslims to meet kind caring deeny spouses InshAllah ameen.

my education is my rozi....and i am grateful to Allah swt for that. i have always wanted to be married, even at 21....when i was done with my degree, but i just never met anyone, growing up in a small city, with very few muslims didnt help to my advantage.

also, no1 seems to offer to look for someone for me, or introduce me to anyone......i am islamic, despite my medical profession, and as a result i dont go out socially to just meet people. have just not been in a position to meet different kinds of people i guess....its also because my work does take up alot of my time.......just thought id share my experience with u as well, so that u know u are not alone :-)...

may Allah swt accept all our duas InshAllah ameen. shukran to all for sharing their stories :-) and to poster, please do not loose hope, there is a time and place for everythin.......and u are just being tested at the moment in terms of patience......trust your creator, and u will never go wrong....wslmz

[Unregistered]

Yes, you will get married
Just be patient :)

[زوجة محمد]

Aslm. I would just like to say, I know how it feels, seriously. The worst part about being unmarried is that altho people pass nasty remarks, they don't realise that not only does it hurt so bad but also, you have enough pressure+anxiety+hope+excitement+sadness+tears all happening at once. I went through my phase where I felt there ws nobody written for me, but I promise I never stopped asking n crying to Allah with questions like 'are you punishing me?',etc. There came a point in my life where everyone around me ws married n I ws left questioning myslf. Gosh, the agony.......

And then, one day something magical happend.... I remember I sat on my musallah at Asr Salaah, with tears in my eyes, and this ws more because that very day I had attended a marriage workshop. No doubt, I had fun! Wat wasn't so fun ws finding out that most of the girls there we're proposed, if not married. Worst part was, I know ALL of those girls. So, with tears in my eyes, I began to question my Allah...... Not even a minute n my Allah showed me a miracle! The house fone rang :D. U can imagine the excitement aftr hearing that this 'guy' is coming aftr magrib to see you.... So this 'guy' came 1st weekend with his sister, the next weekend he brought his parents + put a proposal, in the week I gave my answer and the next weekend I ws proposed with my nikkah&walimah date set for in about a month.
Girls, I didn't mean to brag, I just want url to always have hope. Ur amazing magical story will unfold wen Allah wills for it to unfold. I also read the Aayat 'Rabbana Habla Min Azwaajina wa' dhuriyathina kur'rah thah a' yun, Wa Ja alna lil muthakeena imama' after every salaah. إنشاءالله Allah(swt) will grant you all spouses with children who shall be the coolness of urls eyes, آمِيْن

[Unregistered]

I'm 19 and sometime I feel like I will never find anyone... Most of my friends are engaged or already married..
SOmetimes I wonder if I will even get married...
Kinda sad :,(

[Unregistered]

As salaam wa alykum. I just recently read this post and would like to say to the poster not to lose hope. InshAllah there will be someone out there for you. I know that sounds cliche but I do believe its true. Like you, I am in my late twenties and like you I am educated and a professional. Also like you, I wondered whether I would ever get married considering the Muslim community's (narrow minded) view that a woman over the age of 25 is "too old", "on the shelf" etc. Last year a friend of mine got married and told me "Just wait and see, when you least expect it, it will happen". I had began to lose hope and so I did not believe that I would ever get married... but she was right - I did meet someone and recently I got married. Alhamdulillah - Allah put me with the person I was meant to be with inshAllah and who was right for me and who accepts me for who I am.

I just wanted to post this as motivation for the poster and also for the other repliers to the thread who are in similar situations. Allah knows what is right for you and what is meant for you and inshAllah you will get all that you deserve, ameen.

PS: And to the replier who is 19, you are still very young - in my opinion, there should be no reason why you should feel desponent that you are not married or in the process thereof. You should concentrate on moulding and finding yourself at this stage and inshAllah everything else will come.

[Unregistered]

ppl just need to get over the whole "too old" thing......you get badgered to get married.....and then once your married, you get badgered to have babies!!!....Allah is great!!!, sisters, make Dua, InshaAllah Allah will send you a wonderful man, Ameen.

[Unregistered]

http://www.alislam.co.za/cms/archives/publications/tried-and-tested-methods-of-getting-pious-matches

[Unregistered]

Any idea when will the nanima matching making service will be back?