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View Full Version : the road of regret....



Unregistered
07-12-2012, 07:45 AM
3 years ago I had finally met the guy in person whom I spoke to via social networks for many years..during the years of communicating with each other we became really close friends, soulmates and fell inlove to a point of marriage...3 years ago when we met personally shaytaan took the better of us and we were intimate.after out 3 nights out together everything went down hill we lost contact with each and things weren't rosy like b4.as time passed the guy found a new gf and I heard about it, being inlove with him still and allowing my emotions to take the better of me I had sent out intimate pictures of us to his new gf so they can break up and to his family hoping they would consider getting us married to prevent zina further...these attempts failed, after several months the guy did decide to get married and try again but his sister-inlaw didn't approve bcoz of me sending the pics and being intimate with the guy b4 marriage...I know I've done terrible things and probably deserve the non-approval but ever since then I've changed totally I'm more islamic I fear allah and don't chat to many guys only family n close friends..I've turned to allah and repented for wrong..the only problem is I'm still inlove with the guy I'm not able to trust and feel comfy with anyone else but him thus far. We don't talk at all maybe he 4got me :'( but I can't bring myself to move on..and as for the sil she hates me for spoiling the guy and it came to the point now were I can't take the hate she has for me and I just wanna make peace with her and him and explain everything but I'm afraid how the reaction wud b?

renewed
08-12-2012, 08:26 PM
Assalamualaikum dearest sister
Your story is pretty much like mine I know xactly how u feel right now and I would like to share a few points with u

We fall in to ths problems n have all ths drama n heartache but we only have ourselves to blaim we slowly get drawn in to ths pit of self destruction and it can b really damaging to every facet of our lives
Allah knows our human desires dats y he instructed us to lower our gaze coz he knows we can't handle consequences of it
That being said.what's done is done we can't change d past. I know u feel like u can't do without him but if u let go of him and hold on to Allah ask for forgivness and he will grant u from places u can't imagine
For ur own health n sanity let go and learn to b happy on your own

Unregistered
10-12-2012, 02:58 PM
I dont think you will ever find out until you try. Perhaps you should not do it face to face but express yourself in a letter or email if you have the email address. Speak from your heart, admit your faults, appeal for forgiveness and ask to move on. If this is not accepted by both parties, then you should absolve yourself as you have tried everything to the best of your ability.
As for the guy, firstly I feel that if he felt as strongly as you do about him, he would not have gotten a another girl especially after the intimacy, secondly even after all that has happened, if he really loved you he would have come for you, he would have fought for you. I do not mean to be nasty but I am speaking from personal experience. I know what it is like to wake up each day and think about someone who is not part of your life no matter how much you want them to be. So start by resolving to forget about him. Make yourself busy, tell yourself to think about him less, when you do thnk about him, scold yourself. It works. Alhamdulillah, after a while things worked out for me but it takes time, we are human, prone to emotion and making msitakes. Forgiveness of your sins is between you and Allah. Good luck.

Unregistered
11-12-2012, 01:05 PM
Dear sister. I understand your pain. I assume he is the only guy you were intimate with. There is a reason most religions advise us to wait till after marriage, for women, you get attached to the man who was your first. I have seen it with so many of my friends. The good news is that you can overcome it, the bad news is that it will be hard. You need to be strong, and to accept that the two of you will never be together. It is best for you, and for your sanity. There will be someone else, who will treat you right and marry you (not run off like a jerk). You do realise, that he was not a "nice guy" or a man with any integrity. Don't make excuses for him, he should have not strung you along to sleep with you. You thought you were gong to get married eventually, clearly he didn't. He should have told you that, spelled it out for you before you two ever became intimate. For now, keep busy, nourish your soul and have faith that in time, the pain will go away. You will never forget, but someday you will be free of the burden.