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Addicted to illicit stuff [Archive] - Nanima Network Forum

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Unregistered
26-02-2018, 04:44 PM
aNaniMous Questions
"Assalamualaikum
It has taken me alot of courage to seek help and write this out. Please try not to be harsh on me.
I am a female. In my matric years, i was influenced by friends. Was addicted to drugs and porn. Alhamdulillah, i no longer have an addiction to drugs. But i am still addicted to porn. I have tried so hard to stop watching it but i havent managed quitting it completely. I am now married for a month and things are not so great with my hubby. I do not get turned on by him which in turn is destroying his self confidence.. is there any organisation or anyone i can seek help from. "

ask your 100% anonymous questions here http://bit.ly/aNANImous

Unregistered
26-02-2018, 09:38 PM
I can understand (the porn addiction). I was too. But there comes a time when your fear of what punishment there is helps to build up your courage to stay away. Itís very easy to get to porn material especially with smartphones. Itís at your fingertips so when temptation comes in your fingers tap and boom there is your daily fix. Sometimes tho itís a fix that could last a day.

At the end of it donít you feel empty? I mean take a step back right now at think about it. All you doing is feeding a basic human instinct. But itís hollow. Thereís nobody to share it with. These nothing more than just getting ďa highĒ. Thatís where the addiction is. If youíve seen one youíve seen it all so it canít really be the visual. It can only be getting off the material.

now that we understand what motivates most, we can either:

1. Manage it or
2. Substitute it.

I found either can work well. Managing it may require some Islamic research. Go and understand the nature of the sin and what the consequences are. Thy might not be enough though. Start listening to Quran. Start reciting it too. Let knowledge illuminate the path to stopping it simply because it becomes distasteful. And the closer you start moving towards Allah the less easy it becomes opening up your browser or putting that tv on. Also, your heart starts inclining to deen so your guilt trips if you trip up and fall back into the habit are harder to overcome.

Atvtgis point start substituting. I used gym. That ďneedĒ an be channeled and turned into positive energy. Go for a jog or grab weights. Go do gardening. Do something. Use your hands to create not masturbate. The exhilaration you get from that is great. And it tires you out so you not going to have energy to whip out your phone and load pornhub. (By the way itís useful to put in parental settings and forget the password - this is hard coz you need to go cold turkey for a week). By this time you should be further and further from your addiction if not already escaped from it.

Then one day youíll wake up. And youíll realize you free. You donít need it. You donít want it. You get a greater thrill reciting Surah Yaseen or jogging or doing both. Itís takes courage and commitment but it can be done.

Inbetween youíll find your hubby. Your denial of self love creates a reliance on partner intimacy. Youíll look at him different. Yes physically he may not measure up to pornstars. But your determination to escape the sin youíll see Allah will put love and attraction between you two. Try non-sexual intimacy. Snuggles etc. it makes a totally different level of intimacy that you canít get from magazines and jpegs.

May Allah help you in your new jihad.

Unregistered
27-02-2018, 07:11 AM
Have you tries speaking to him about your past or your addiction to porn?

I know its wrong but i had a similar issue of being turned on by porn and reaching my end thinking about porn. I felt like i was cheating my husband. But when i came clean he was understanding, i know he helped me more than any outsider could. The earlier you speak up about it in your marriage the less complicated it would be to solve.

Unregistered
28-02-2018, 08:04 PM
The fact that you have acknowledged your mistake/problem, it's a good start. Don't stop making Dua (you will be in mine).Turn to The Almighty, nd try to wake up for Tahajud Salaah. The Almighty is Oft Forgiving and Most Merciful.