View Full Version : bedroom issues

16-11-2017, 01:07 PM
Alhamdullilah ive been happily married for over a year ,both of us are in good shape and gym regularly.however my hubby does tend to try go overboard in the bedroom ,
How do I address him that oral intercourse is not hygiene and islamically also not recommended ??"

16-11-2017, 01:14 PM
Please be aware that oral sex is not explicitly stated as haraam. There is difference in opinion about whether or not it is makrooh but then again, if youíre hanafi, I presume you eat prawns right? Thatís also deemed as makrooh, but it isnít haraam...

Over and above oral, if your hubby is asking for other way out things in the bedroom, itís highly likely that heís quite into porn. Itís a slippery slope when one begins to watch porn as he needs more and more weird and crazy things to turn him on.

Ask yourself; how often does he approach you for sex? What kinds of things has he started asking for? Does he have a lock on his phone? Is his history on his browser regularly deleted? might he be using private browsing to visit porn sites?

May Allah guide you both to a mutually fulfilling sex life...

16-11-2017, 01:37 PM
Maybe he has been exposed to this? Pornography wise? Most men tend to watch these disgusting vids and want to emulate. Personally oral is not the worst thing, though if you are uncomfortable maybe have a heart to heart. Try not to use terms as"not hygienic" or "Islamically not recommended" try a light hearted approach where you state where you think boundaries are, and how there are other ways of foreplay and pleasure. State that is not very pleasurable for you and it will be to the benefit of both of you to be comfortable

16-11-2017, 02:05 PM
Islamically the opinions are divided. Some scholars say its not haraam but not advisable. It is enjoyable if you are comfortable doing it. Just make sure you are both clean and relax and enjoy. I love it when my husband goes down on me. Men love it too

16-11-2017, 02:38 PM
If u make istinja its clean

16-11-2017, 02:44 PM
U need to communicate with him outside the bedroom and discuss what makes u uncomfortable and what you like and what u dont like.
Many guys learn about sex from porn and see that as the ideal way to pleasure your partner but in essence it is just actors that are in front of a camera making sounds and being robots.

Speak to your partner and discuss what the needs in the bedroom are. If your islamic concern is legitimate u can discuss it with your partner to find out from an alim u trust and then see how u can find new ways to be intimate that u both comfortable with.

16-11-2017, 04:39 PM
It's not about being a prude, it is haraam, read kitaabun nikaah, if it's so normal do you see animals doing it? Poster make dua that Allah gives him hidaayat, tell him that you will not allow it, Allah comes first.

16-11-2017, 07:08 PM
To the postet that says its haraam. Do proper research. The Ulema are divuded on this subject. Its not haraam. Its makrooh. Anal sex is haraam. Sex on your period is haraam but oral sex is Makrooh
The famous HanafÔ Fiqh reference work, Al-Fatšwa al-Hindiyya, states: ďif a man inserts his penis into his wife's mouth, it has been said that it is disliked (makrūh), and others hold that it is not disliked.Ē (Al-Fatš wa al Hindiyya 5 :372)

16-11-2017, 09:10 PM
Oral sex is permissible

17-11-2017, 11:26 AM
In whichever tests people quote on oral sex which says makruh. ...disliked .....Makruh here refers to tahreemee and not tanzeehee..Tahreemee is as good as haram.Between this makruh and haram is only a technical difference...

18-11-2017, 04:12 PM
Here is fiqh on this matter http://seekershub.org/ans-blog/2011/06/01/the-fiqh-details-of-oral-sex/

18-11-2017, 08:50 PM
If its something that will please him, do ut. U explore other ways of pleasing him as well, spice it up so he doesnt need to ask. Women have the power to pull a man into her place of comfort. Work at it.

20-11-2017, 05:56 AM
If he likes it then no harm into giving to him what he enjoys and vice versa. I am sure there are things that you enjoy too which you should tell him about

01-01-2018, 04:18 AM
Let s be honest. Someone referenced Fatawa al Hindiyy. I went to check it. It says (basically) that oral sex is permissible if no fluids will contact the mouth. If one engages in oral sex in such a way wherein there is no sexual fluids and impurities on the tongue or in the mouth, then it would be considered disliked. So unless the woman is as dry as a desert and the man can cap his volcano, there isnít a human ability to comply. Yes, couples do it because itís pleasurable or they wish to try, but letís be honest and true to ourselves. Itís not permissible end of story.